45 Things I did WRONG as a newbie foreigner in France

Moving to France has been one of my best life decisions… and also the one where I’ve made the most mistakes. From adapting to French culture to figuring out simple grocery shopping, I’d like to tell you my faux pas have been few and far between. But the reality is there have been many and sometimes they were hilarious.

Here’s a list of 45 things I did wrong after moving to France—both to give you a laugh and to help you avoid these blunders yourself as a tourist! I hope this post is as educational as it is fun. I had to stop myself at 45 but could probably have made a list of 100, easy. OK, let me not embarrass myself any further and just get into it!

45 Things I did wrong as a newbie foreigner in France

1. I didn’t know how to open the door
I just talked about this on my FB page. In France, this is something that can really trip up tourists. Guilty! In a lot of older buildings, and even some new ones, when you’re trying to exit from the inside, the door just doesn’t pull or push open. It can be really confusing and leave you feeling trapped.

If you encounter this, look for a button on the wall next to the door. You have to hit the button to unlock the door from the inside. It’s especially nice if the button is marked “porte” (door) or has a key logo on it. Sometimes this still catches me off guard and I find myself standing there for a couple of seconds before the lightbulb goes off in my head to look for the button.

In my photo, I circled the unlock button in red so you know what they look like. The next time you find yourself in a French apartment building or office building and the door seems to be locked from the inside, remember to look for a button on the wall!

2. Forgot to say “bonjour” first thing in any interaction

I used to make this mistake more frequently but it’s rare that I forget a bonjour these days. But I see tourists forgetting all the time so that’s why I talk about this so much! Yes, it’s THAT important! Before all else, always greet someone with a “bonjour.” It’s a must and I explain the why behind it in this post.

3. Attempted to hug instead of doing la bise
Yup, and my father-in-law just stood there. The French don’t hug!

4. Didn’t know which cheek to start with for the cheek kisses
I went in the wrong direction half the time and left people leaning in for a cheek that wasn’t there. Honestly, there’s no hard-and-fast rule but a good rule of thumb is to start la bise with your head going to the left so your right cheek lines up with their right cheek first.

5. Didn’t focus on comprehension in my French lessons
My lack of French comprehension skills held me back my first 18 months or so of living here. I talk about why comprehension needs to be your focus if you’re moving to France in this post.

6. Forgot my manners
I trained myself out of this one right away, so much so that now when I’m in the U.S. people comment on how polite I am.

Upon entering a store, say bonjour and make sure you say au revoir upon exiting. That’s good life advice anywhere. When arriving in a doctor’s waiting room, say bonjour to everyone as you sit down. It’s really bad form to forget simple words like merci and bonne journée.

Be more socially polite than your American instincts tell you to be and you should be just fine. It’s the French way! And here are a few must-know French words that’ll help you nail that whole French politeness thing.

7. Tried to shop on Sundays
Nothing is open on Sundays. I found that out after a couple of grocery store sprints to a locked door. As time has gone on, more grocery stores have updated their hours to include Sundays until about 12 or 1 p.m. but the majority are closed. Banks, businesses, restaurants, and other stores are generally closed all day on Sundays and even Mondays (as well as some tourist attractions) so plan around that.

8. Botched other people’s (and my own) phone numbers when trying to write them down or give mine to someone over the phone
It’s all fun and games until you get to 70. Phone numbers can be SO tricky in French so I wrote this guide to help you in that department. 

9. Thought the 2nd floor of a building was one flight up
The US and France (as well as other countries) count the floors/stories in buildings differently.

In France, the ground floor that’s at street level is considered floor zero or the rez de chaussée (RDC). You’ll see RDC on elevator buttons and that means the ground floor or lobby of a building. The first floor is one flight up.

In the U.S., the ground floor is the first floor (there’s no zero) and if you go up one flight of stairs, that’s the second floor. You can see how this could easily confuse an uninformed tourist or newcomer.

10. Touched fruit at the marché
Sometimes there are signs to remind you to keep your paws off the produce (as seen above), so if you see one, obey! The vendors will handle it for you most of the time — just point. I wrote a piece on marché know-how here if you’re curious.

11. Forgot to weigh my own produce BEFORE heading to checkout
You need to weigh your own fruits and veggies at *some* grocery stores. The cashier can’t do it for you at checkout so you’ll have to run all the way back to the produce section while everyone in line huffs and puffs. I gave some tips about that in this post.

12. Mispronounced everything in the boulangerie
It’s OK! This is how you learn. I think I asked for un quiche (it’s UNE) once and on a whim I bought a pastry with Bounty candy, except I said Bounty like the US paper towel brand and not the French candy pronunciation which is “boon-ty.” 

13. Thought baguettes were just baguettes
I think for my first year here, I’d say I wanted “une baguette” every time I wanted bread. I didn’t know better. As it turns out, there are all different types of baguettes including une tradition (which is fantastic) and my favorite, une baguette aux céréales. Here’s some baguette etiquette for you.

14. Wore sweatpants to the grocery store
OK ok, I did that once when I was sick. I don’t make a habit of it. And there’s a huge difference between ratty old house sweatpants and chic joggers. Here’s my no-BS guide on what to wear in France.

15. Being too direct

There are subtle nuances to the French language that you might not notice at first, but they’re there. Sometimes Tom’s email interactions or phone conversations with customer service sometimes leave me chuckling and wondering why it seems like we’re almost apologizing for bothering them about the company’s mistake.

In regular conversation, skipping the niceties to get the point might seem too abrupt or even rude to a French person. So do like the French do and always be polite. Definitely lead with the magic word bonjour!

16. Addressed someone by their first name

The French are formal when it comes to many things and addressing someone you’re not really friends with by their first name is a no-no (unless they invite you to do otherwise). It really might not seem like a big deal but it is a major gaffe. So your pharmacist is Mr. DuPont, not Pierre. The client at work is always Mr. French Guy. You’re Mr. or Mrs. So-and-So when you’re called from the waiting room at a doctor or dentist’s office.

Basically, anyone you don’t interact with on a daily basis — or anyone in a professional context — gets a Monsieur or Madame unless they tell you otherwise. The French keep that distance and don’t get too familiar. I have to force myself to do this and if anyone calls me Madame My Last Name, I always say, no no it’s Diane! (Tom just admitted, “Sometimes it’s so weird in French.” Agreed.)

17.  Tipped the American way for a haircut
The first time I got a haircut here, I had no clue if you were supposed to tip 20% like in the U.S. I didn’t want to stiff her, so I left 20% and she was super shocked, but thankful. When I got home, Tom laughed and told me of course she was happy — French people don’t tip 20% for haircuts (or meals, or anything really). I explain tipping in France here. I learned really quickly…. when in Rome and all.

18. Attempted to make small talk at the grocery checkout
I tried to chat with the cashier and got a polite, but distant, smile. I was just happy to bust out some French! Turns out, they aren’t big on checkout chitchat. It’s not rude but small talk might be seen as unusual. I talk about it here.

19. Didn’t separate my trash properly
Glass containers and bottles do NOT get thrown in with the general recycling where I live. Our recycling bin is just for paper, cardboard, plastic and metal. I have to bring my glass to a special glass bin. It doesn’t get picked up by the town.

20. Forgot to validate my train ticket
There are yellow machines at the train station where you need to stamp your ticket ahead of time. It’s not always intuitive if you aren’t used to validating your ticket and/or taking the train. These days, digital tickets are more common but back in the day, I made this mistake a couple of times. I wrote a guide all about train travel in France I think you’ll like.

21. Looked for non-French breakfast foods on café menus
Pancakes, eggs, bacon, anyone? These aren’t breakfast staples here. French breakfast = bread, jam, and coffee or juice.

22. I thought the question “Ça t’a plu ?” was about the rain
Oops. Upon arrival in France with my shaky French, I had only heard “plu” in the context of the rain — as in “il a plu hier” (it rained yesterday). The verb for rain is pleuvoir. I had no idea plu was also the past tense of another verb. DOH! I talk about it here along with other misunderstandings. Also, here are some embarrassing French language mistakes to avoid.

23. Attempted to buy medicine from the grocery store
Nopers. I learned this one my first week here! You won’t find aspirin, cold medicine, or any other OTC item in the grocery aisles here. Pharmacies are the only place for over-the-counter meds so check ’em out because French pharmacies are amazing. Here are the French equivalents of common American OTC meds.

24. Arrived on time for a dinner party
I’m always early. That’s just how I was raised and I hate rushing. For appointments, flights, you name it, I’m there ahead of time. So of course in France I show up on time…. expect French guests don’t usually show up on the dot. I’ve found myself awkwardly early more than once. But hey, you live, you learn.

25. Skipped the formal goodbye in group settings
Isn’t one round of la bise upon arrival enough? In France, most people leave a gathering by individually bise-ing everyone goodbye. Oops. Here are a bunch of American social norms that don’t translate.

26. Asked for a doggy bag at restaurants
This one is no longer an issue because as of 2016, leftover containers have to be available by law, if requested. It’s part of France’s effort to cut down on food waste. But back in the day, I learned that taking leftovers home isn’t as common here, especially in higher end restaurants. The portion sizes are smaller and French people usually eat out when they have a decent appetite so it’s not seen as frequently here. But it’s perfectly OK to ask now.

27. Tried to eat my salad first
In many areas of France, salads often come after the main course. I was too eager with my leafy greens and went to serve myself from the salad bowl at the start of the meal (like I’d do in the U.S.), not realizing it was customary to eat salad after our main meal.

28. Used the informal “tu” when it should have been “vous”
This can be a social faux pas but is a bit of a rite of passage. It happens. I explain the different words for “you” here.

29. Jumping to conclusions and not understanding the nuance in situations
Certain aspects of French culture might seem rude if you don’t understand the subtext. It took me a while to realize that French people were being polite and acting normal for their culture, even if it seemed rude or cold to me. I’m talking about the lack of small talk, the public vs. private sphere, the complaining… and that’s just the short list. It turns out that once I educated myself, I realized 99% of people weren’t being rude at all. Take the time to learn the language and understand what’s actually going on around you and why.

8 Reasons why foreigners move to France and DON’T learn French >>

30. Thought my bank account would be free

It’s hard to know how things are done elsewhere until you have first-hand experience and banking in France definitely falls into this category. In the U.S., my checking account is 100% free. I didn’t pay for the debit card and I don’t pay a monthly maintenance fee.

Many banks in France do charge fees, so be aware of that. I pay 49€ /year for my debit card and my basic checking account is 6.63€/month with Crédit Agricole. Tom pays even more for his. Online banks tend to have better fees but many don’t allow Americans to open accounts due to FATCA reporting and if you want to have a more personal relationship with your banker, a local brick-and-mortar bank is your best option. In addition to a French bank account, I recommend Wise for all foreigners/travelers abroad.

31. I was confused by closed shutters
Before moving to France, the only closed shutters I was familiar with were the ones on Florida homes during hurricane season. I thought all my French neighbors had moved out or were constantly away since there are no hurricanes here. Turns out, closing shutters is just the French way of saying goodnight. I’m not a huge fan of les volets but I’ve made peace with them.

32. Tried to pay with a big bill
Busy bakeries don’t want to deal with making change for a 50 when you’re buying a 1.50€ baguette. Many shops and bakeries struggle with large bills, and my 50-euro note was met with frustration. Keep small bills on you for your daily bread run, or even better yet, a bunch of coins. Here’s what you need to know about using euros in France.

33. Forgot my reusable shopping bag at the grocery store
You will not be given free bags at checkout. I made this mistake once and learned right away to bring my own bags or shopping cart (this is my favorite brand). If you show up empty handed, no worries. You can always buy a shopping bag at the register. Here are my top tips for grocery shopping in France.

34. I thought the waiter wanted my drink order when asking if we wanted an apéritif
Waiters usually ask if you’d like an apéritif, a beverage that is usually alcoholic and consumed before your meal comes, before ordering your main dish. They’re not asking for your drink order with your meal here (so don’t tell them water at this stage). The apéritif is a beverage course and is sometimes served with a little snack consisting of crackers or nuts.

In many cases, it’s fine to say no thank you, but waiters just about always ask if you’ll be ordering an apéritif and it’s certainly part of French culture. Listen for “desirez-vous un apéritif ?” It’s perfectly polite to say no thank you as well.

35. Didn’t realize the complexity of French paperwork
Copies, copies, and more copies! The bureaucracy is real. Always make your administrative appointments well in advance of any expiration dates. The gears might turn a little more slowly than you were expecting. 

36. Ordered “water” and got expensive bottled water
Tap water is always available for free, so be sure to ask for “une carafe d’eau.” When you just ask for water, you might automatically be served expensive Evian, especially in touristy places. In smaller towns, the waiter will probably ask if you want tap or bottled but in busier tourist areas, you might get stuck with the pricier bottled stuff if you don’t specifically ask for tap water.

37. Took pictures in public
It’s always best to ask people first if you can take a photo of their wares. In the U.S., I feel like people are more relaxed with tourists taking pictures but in France, ask first. I was scolded for taking a photo of paella at the market. No people were in the photo but the woman didn’t want her food photographed!

38. I told my gynecologist that Americans are scared of Black people
This was my WORST language mishap and it actually wasn’t during my first year here. I talk about it in this post and luckily realized my mistake and corrected it before digging myself too much of a ditch.

39. Expected stores/businesses to open before 10 a.m.
When I first visited France as a tourist, I headed out early like the early riser I am and found myself in front of a lot of closed stores. Grocery stores usually open earlier, but boutiques, chain stores, and even banks tend to have later opening hours than I was used to in the U.S. This is even more common in small towns.

40. Mispronounced tabac and porc for years. Yes, YEARS! I’m cringing just thinking about it. Thanks Tom! Hahah, this was a misunderstanding between us.

41. Tried to get things done in August
In France, August is peak vacation season and many small businesses, restaurants, tradesmen and more take two or even three weeks off to relax and recharge. That’s most definitely a good thing but it can catch you off guard if you aren’t expecting it, like I wasn’t when I first moved here. Forget about any repairs, appointments, or email replies in the month of August. Everyone is en vacances! I’ve had to adjust my expectations a bit and plan accordingly.

42. Ordered a steak well done
This one might get you the side eye, especially if you’re eating at a fancier type of restaurant. Steak is generally cooked medium/medium rare (à point) and asking for it to be cooked well done is thought of as ruining the meat. Chefs at higher end restaurants might even be insulted and refuse to “ruin” the steak. Let’s just say my tastes have changed over the years and I no longer ask for well-done steaks!

43. Misunderstood the French approach to customer service
Customer service is a bit, well, different in France and was something I had to get used to. I will say it’s improved a LOT in the time I’ve lived in France.

44. Rushed my meals
Eating in a hurry is a no-go here. Meals are meant to be the main event and a social experience, not rushed. I’ve come to love that.

45. Tried using my U.S. hair straightener and it caught on fire

PSA: Your American hair appliances will probably not work here!!!!!!! Leave them home!

Even with the correct adapter/converter, you risk frying your appliance and setting your hotel/rental on fire. Been there, done that. Luckily, I saw the flames right away so there was no damage to the property, but it could have been so much worse. The issue is the hertz and not the voltage. Only use electronics like computers, chargers, and appliances with universal voltage, that accept 100–240 Volts of AC, at 50–60 Hz.

My expensive ghd flatiron didn’t fall into that category (it fell into the trash, ha!) but the ghd stylers (excluding model 3.1b) and the ghd curve® range feature universal voltage, so be sure to check your particular appliance first if you plan on using it here.  

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Wow, so after writing all that out, I feel like a bumbling fool. I swear though, I’m not! REALLY! Hahaha.

In all seriousness, I want to normalize making mistakes and talking about them… in life and not just about moving to France.  Making mistakes is part of the experience and it’s how you grow. I’m not embarrassed because my mistakes have gotten me to where I am now. I also did a lot of stuff right. I don’t take myself too seriously and you shouldn’t either!

Most of the things I mentioned above happened the first year or so and I learned the French way very quickly and have adapted at this point. But it’s fun to go back in time and remember all the silly stuff I did and the rites of passage moments.

Through every little mistake, I’ve found myself loving France even more (well, mostly), quirks and all! The French really are endearing. And hey, if you’re visiting or moving to France soon, maybe my list will save you a few faux pas of your own!

Of course, in the name of balance and all, here are things I did RIGHT when I moved to France.

P.S. If you enjoy my content, would you mind sharing the link on social media (a FB group you’re in, on your page, in a tweet, etc.) or emailing the link to a friend? It really does help. Father Google hasn’t been kind to a lot of bloggers over the past year and it’s really disheartening when only a handful of people read your content. It would mean a lot to me if you helped spread Oui In France to the masses. I spend a ton of time and money on Oui In France and LOVE blogging, so merci encore for your support. 

P.P.S. If you’re visiting France soon and want to be prepared, I have an eGuide I think you’ll love! It’s titled “75 Beginner France Tips for a Standout Trip.”

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