7 Things I did RIGHT when I moved to France

Since 2012, I’ve regaled you with tons of content (this is my 953rd post!) including mistakes I’ve made over the years as a foreigner in France. I’ve told you about 45 things I did wrong as a newbie foreigner in France, expat mistakes that hold us back, and embarrassing French mistakes to avoid — and that’s just for starters.

But something hit me the other day. I don’t think I’ve ever done a single post on everything I did RIGHT… and if I did write a post like that, I don’t even remember it so the chances are good that you don’t remember either. 🙂

There actually are a bunch of things I’m proud of myself for getting right when I moved to France and that’s what I’m going to be sharing with you today.

7 Things I did RIGHT when I moved to France

Why the heck have I never, in 12 years, thought to write a post about everything I’ve done right?? Time to get deep. My own psychoanalysis says it’s because I’m uncomfortable with looking like I’m some kind of expert.

It’s self indulgent enough to start a blog and think people care about what I have to say, so standing up and saying, “Hey I did this stuff right, I’m proud of myself!” just seemed like too much. Despite being a confident, prepared, self-assured person in real life, here it’s just easier to paint myself as someone who makes a lot of mistakes!

People love taking things the wrong way online and assuming the worst so I guess I wanted to avoid anyone thinking I was too proud. It’s easier to take yourself down a few notches before someone else can.

But not today!

What I realized is that whether I talk about my mistakes or triumphs, there’s someone out there who will find my content helpful and that’s all I could ever want. I had some strange bias where by default I thought only my mistakes could help others, but that’s not the case.

If my content speaks to you, I couldn’t be happier about that (and if it doesn’t, well, you won’t be here long). I want to help you because I appreciate everyone who has helped me over the years and shared a piece of themselves and their story.

Anyway, explanations aside, I AM proud of the challenges I’ve overcome and the steps I’ve taken to make a life for myself with Tom here in France. So let me share some of the things I did RIGHT early on when I moved to France.

They not only set me up for success and lessened my stress levels but these things gave me a boost of confidence at a time when I was pretty unsure of myself. 

Let’s get into the wins that helped me feel more at home in France sooner rather than later. If you’re planning to move to France or are already here, I hope these can inspire you, too, or at least give you something to relate to!

P.S. If this is your first time on my blog (welcome!), I try to do a balanced job here and don’t want you to get the wrong idea. I’ve written a ton of posts with a very positive slant too…. including the things I love the most about my life in France, endearing French habits you can’t help but love, my favorite wine, and hundreds more.

7 things I did RIGHT when I moved to France:

1. I started learning French before I arrived

Just for fun, I was taking classes at the Alliance Française in Montclair, NJ, and decided to apply to TAPIF. A few months later, I was accepted, so it only made sense to continue my French lessons in the lead up to the move and I’m SO glad I did.

Was I “good” at French when I first arrived? Nope, not by a long shot. I thought I had a decent intermediate level, though, but that was only on paper. I could barely understand people when they’d speak to me face to face because everything sounded jumbled and way too fast, a far cry away from the comfortable listening exercises we did in class.

In all honesty, I should have focused on comprehension once I knew I’d be moving to France. I had the basics down and could communicate so that was a win, even if the confidence didn’t come until much later.

But let me give credit where credit is due. What I did right was to start learning French before the move. I had a solid base and it was that much easier to build on once the foundation was already built. Do NOT wait until you move to France to start learning!

With all the fun ways to learn French online, you can fit learning French into your day in whatever extra time you have. Listen to podcasts and use apps, hire a private French teacher, take a group class like I did. Or if you like watching TV and movies, I highly recommend Lingopie. They’re the Netflix of language learning, so be sure to sign up for their free trial. Just start!

8 Reasons why foreigners move to France and DON’T learn French >>

2. I didn’t send my belongings on a container ship

This may not be the right choice for everyone but moving to France with just two suitcases and selling everything in my NYC apartment ahead of time was the right move for me. I moved into Tom’s apartment so we already had a couch, bed, and most of what we needed.

Going the two-suitcase route was way less stressful (and less expensive) than having to coordinate a container full of my U.S. belongings. I’ve heard horror stories about things getting lost, arriving damaged, arriving late, and with a bunch of unexpected costs.

That was all stress I didn’t need to add to the situation of being newly married and like a fish out of water so glad I went the easy route.

I use SendMyBag and they’re great (get 5€ off here).

Here are things NOT to pack when you move to France.

Note: I moved to France twice. The first was for that work contract teaching English and the second move was after Tom and I got married. Both times, I came with just two suitcases. 

3. I made sure I had a purpose

You know that saying, “Failing to plan is planning to fail?” Yeah, that’s me. Well, for important things in life anyway. I’m someone who feels most at ease when I have a plan and the illusion of control.

That goes for anything in life. Feeling like I’m just winging something or floating along mindlessly makes me feel like I have no control. 

In this context, it meant making sure that when I woke up each morning, I had a purpose of some sort and something to do. This is going to look different for everyone and might be a job, volunteer opportunity, French lessons, a standing commitment of some sort, etc. Just SOMETHING to make sure I was productive and helping others in some way.

It’s so easy to arrive somewhere new and just procrastinate but I didn’t want that to be me.

In my case, this purpose included three things: getting Dagny which was planned well ahead of time, and required me to go outside and walk her multiple times per day (and come into contact w/French people), working, and starting this blog a couple of months later.

For me, the worst thing would have been to just show up in France with no way to earn a living and nothing concrete to do all day. Once I knew I’d be moving to France, I made sure I wouldn’t be isolating myself, which leads me to my next point…

4. I put myself out there socially

From meetup groups to joining my local gym to even going to a Mormon church (despite not being religious) after meeting American missionaries in the park, I’m proud of myself for making social connections early on.

I also walked Dagny several times per day in our local park so I’d chitchat with other dog owners daily. She was a great ice breaker and I miss her every day (Dagny passed away March 5, 2022, a few months after my mom, and I’ll miss them both for as long as I live. Go away, grief).

Even if I didn’t click with the person every time, I got a lot of practice stumbling through shaky French and learning about my neighborhood and the people in it. Two of my French friends who I still talk to today were people I met at the gym, so it pays to get outside of your comfort zone as soon as you can.

Is making friends easy? No, but you have to try!

5. I started this blog

Aside from moving to France, one of my best life decisions was starting Oui In France. I had no idea it would become something I’d love so much and that I’d still be doing it in 2024!

It ties into what I said above about having a purpose and putting myself out there. In the beginning, this site started out as a personal diary of sorts and a way for me to have a record of the early years.

It was also a way for me to process my thoughts, deal with culture shock and the challenges of moving abroad, and to connect with others who could relate. Then I started my YT channel a few years later.

I’ve actually met several people I consider very close friends through blogging. Also, connecting with all of you through my posts and videos energizes me. It makes me feel like I have a purpose and that my content matters.

When you leave a comment or email me and let me know my content helped you in some way, it’s an instant mood booster. It erases any stressful parts of my day. So, thank you for being a part of this community. You do more for me than you know and I hope I can repay the favor through my content.

6. I made sure I had a place to live ahead of time

As I said, I don’t like flying by the seat of my pants. The first time I came to France, I lived in an Italian lady’s backyard in a converted shed. The ceilings were too low for me to stand up straight and it was tiny, but it worked for the time I was there and the price was right. Having a place to live squared away before my plane touched down was a weight off  my shoulders.

I know it’s not always possible to have a place to live, or at least stay, before moving but I’d recommend trying your best to get something set up for yourself ahead of time. Maybe it’s just an apartment rental for a few weeks. Just find yourself something so you aren’t jetlagged, lost, and without a plan.

How’d I get here? More on my backstory >>

7. I prepared myself mentally & researched

I’m full of sayings today. You know that one, “Prepare for the worst but hope for the best?” Yeah, that was me. It wasn’t a matter of if I’d struggle and face challenges — that was a given. It was training myself to be ready for everything that would be coming my way. Now yes, that’s nearly impossible but I did the best I could.

I prepared for the worst… I expected to feel stressed, sad, doubtful, and everything else that comes with being newly married and moving across the world. I tried to play out what those feelings would feel like and look like and how they’d affect me…. and most importantly, come up with some tools ahead of time on how to overcome them.

Part of preparing myself was researching what to expect. I looked for blogs and forum posts and social media pages from people who had been teaching assistants. I looked for info from other Americans abroad.

I sought out not only great experiences but I deliberately looked for people having a hard time, those moving home, and those talking about the struggles too. I read about people’s experiences, good and bad, who were students all the way up to retired age people. I wanted to know everything there was to know.

I didn’t do this to talk myself out of my move. It was just the opposite. I wanted to be more prepared for what might lie ahead and go into this new life experience with my eyes wide open. It’s something I stress on Oui In France and often talk about the sometimes harsh reality of life abroad.

Excitement can get the best of you and you’ll end up overlooking a bunch of really important things about life in France that you’ll wish you took time to understand ahead of time.

Do yourself a favor and get real about what a move abroad actually entails. Put in the time and do the research. Read the uncomfortable stories. Seek out voices that are the opposite of yours. You’ll only be stronger for it.

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Anyway, the things I got right helped offset everything I got wrong. There’s something really satisfying about getting a few things right so I’m happy I wrote this.

These moments of success have contributed to making my life in France feel less foreign and more like home and have given me confidence in my journey. For anyone planning to move to France, I hope reading my wins helped you in some way!

And if not, I’ll be back with more mistakes soon, I’m sure. Just kidding. Kinda. Hahahahha.

P.S. If you enjoy my content, would you mind sharing the link on social media (a FB group you’re in, pin it on Pinterest via the pin below, share on your own FB page, in a tweet, IG story, etc.) or emailing the link to a friend? It really does help. Father Google hasn’t been kind to a lot of bloggers over the past year and it’s really disheartening when only a handful of people read your content. It would mean a lot to me if you helped spread Oui In France to the masses. I spend a ton of time and money on Oui In France and LOVE blogging, so merci encore for your support. 

P.P.S. If you’re visiting France soon and want to be prepared, I have an eGuide I think you’ll love! It’s titled “75 Beginner France Tips for a Standout Trip.”

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