Bonjour from the land of baguettes and berets! I’ve been living the dream in France for over a decade now and for some reason, I don’t think I’ve ever written a post on things I DON’T miss from the U.S. I’ve told you all about things I miss about living in the good ol’ U.S. of A, things the U.S. does better than France and vice versa, but I thought it would be interesting to get into a handful of things I really don’t miss at all about the U.S.
Before my mom passed away, Tom and I would visit family in the U.S. but never spent more than 7-10 days there. Over the course of nine years, I never stayed more than a week-ish stateside at a time.
I felt weird being away from France and we had our dog Dagny to get back to. I never liked leaving her for too long and enjoyed getting back to my routine. Short trips were the norm.
But that all changed. Once my mom started getting really sick and after she and Dagny passed away, I started spending more time in the U.S. — over a month at a time. I’m quite in tune with what life is like there in 2024. I’ve been back and forth a bit over the past 2.5 years and have had a lot of time to reflect on what I love and don’t love about my homeland.
As I always say, there’s no perfect place to live. Everywhere has its fair share of pros and cons. I think we need to make the best out of wherever we choose to call home. Focus on what we enjoy and make peace with the rest.
Here are 5 things I DON’T miss from the U.S. after living abroad in France:
1. Pharmaceutical ads on TV
I don’t watch much TV, but the last time I was in Florida, the amount of slick drug ads on TV SHOCKED me. In one commercial break while watching Jeopardy, I counted three drug ads and thought it was a joke. Nope, it seems to be the norm!
By the end of my trip, I knew not only the drug names and what they were for but the catchy jingles were getting stuck in my head too!
Everything from medication for psoriasis and depression to diabetes and eczema (even Botox!) dominated my screen in an upbeat, well-produced vignette and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. The list of side effects they rattle off next almost makes it comical. There’s always a new medication that promises the world.
Personally speaking, I’m not a fan of Big Pharma in general and then after losing my mom to cancer and seeing the exorbitant drug costs, it turned me off even more. Profits should never win out over people. But let me not go down a rabbit hole…
My point here is that all the drug ads are unnecessary and jarring. You’ll never see them on TV in France (or anywhere but the U.S. and New Zealand actually) because it’s not legal. And good luck telling a French doctor what medicine you think they should prescribe for you.
In France, you won’t see direct-to-consumer pharmaceutical advertising and that’s how it should be. Enough is enough. Let your doctor recommend a drug or research it on your own. We don’t need drug ads shoved down our throats!
P.S. You won’t see personal injury lawyer ads or plastic surgery commercials in France either.
2. Hustle culture
The hustle is real! In the U.S., there’s relentless pressure to grind 24/7, to have a side hustle on top of the main hustle, and the constant FOMO about not being “productive” enough.
Living in France has taught me that it IS possible to have a healthy work/life balance and this stands in stark contrast to the hustle culture in the U.S. Here, people prioritize taking breaks, enjoying life outside of work, and not needing a therapy session after every email.
Don’t get me wrong, there’s a work ethic — the French are NOT lazy — but it doesn’t feel like a hamster wheel you’re perpetually condemned to spin. And if you are spinning, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel… your vacation!
Plus, the fact that healthcare is a basic human right and not connected to your employment status takes a whole lot of stress off not having to work yourself to the bone just to afford basic medical care.
It always surprises people to learn that employees in France get 5 weeks of paid vacation each year — that they are expected to use — in addition to public holidays. Many French people (as well as other Europeans) take off for 2-3 weeks in the summer and it’s totally fine. The company doesn’t fall apart.
Fun fact: I almost got fired when I booked a two-week trip to New Zealand early in my career back in NYC.
Time off is a basic right in France (and the law) and not a perk of working for a good employer. In the U.S., there is no federal law regulating paid vacation minimums.
Having doubts about moving abroad? Relax, you’re normal! >>
3. Spammer/scammer calls
Last time I visited my dad, he’d get a handful of spammy/scammy calls a day. He said it was a normal occurrence. Once he realizes it’s a scammer, he’ll mess with them and it actually became my nightly entertainment.
From fake Geek Squad and Microsoft calls to Medicare scams and people selling solar panels, Americans are getting preyed on. A friend of my dad’s actually had a relative who got scammed out of $70k. Yeahhhhhhh.
Scam calls are a common nuisance and they often come from fraudsters posing as authorities or service providers, cluttering daily life.
If you know it’s a scam call, you can block the number but they always seem to change numbers and call back despite your best attempts to get rid of them.
A lot of these scams originate out of Indian call centers. And while scams absolutely exist in France, the amount of widespread, organized scam calls aren’t on the same level at all. One reason for this is that these scammers don’t speak French, so they target the English-speaking market instead, not France.
You still have to keep an eye out for scammy phishing text messages and emails in France but scammers have taken it to the next level in the U.S. You won’t get nightly scammer calls in France. Or they atleast haven’t figured out my French number yet.
Stricter regulations and enforcement play a role in reducing these types of intrusions in France. You can also sign up to have your number added to Bloctel, which helps protect consumers by blocking unwanted commercial calls (not necessarily scammers).
Funny story time: One night during dinner, my dad and I kept getting interrupted by a very persistent scammer. On the fifth call, I took my dad’s lead and put on my best voiceover sounding voice, and cheerily said, “Thank you for calling the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Please note that your location and phone number have been forwarded to a federal agent to better expedite your call. To speak to an agent now, please press 1, to get an update on a previous case, please press 2, for all other inquiries press 3.”
I actually pulled it off, didn’t stutter once, and guess what… we never heard from him again!!!
This is a great YouTube channel that takes down scammers by scamming them back.
77 Little things that are different in France >>
4. Guns in public
I don’t want to make this political, but this needs to be said and is a very real part of my list of things I don’t miss list. It’s a safety thing for me. There’s a certain level of anxiety that comes with knowing the person next to you in line at the grocery store could be packing heat.
Florida, where my family lives, is a concealed carry state and people do have weapons on them and in their vehicles. Other states are open carry. Some of my family members own guns. I don’t like any of it. I grew up in NJ where gun laws were much more strict.
Believe it or not, my dad and I got an Uber ride in Florida and our female driver had a gun wrapped in a towel that she had tucked into the driver’s side door. Just in case. 😲
In France, it’s a refreshing change to know civilians aren’t legally allowed to carry firearms around in public. Gun legislation is highly regulated.
5. Over-the-top tipping
I appreciate good service and think tips are appropriate in a lot of cases. I happily tip my nail tech, server, etc. in the U.S. to the tune of 20-25%. But tips shouldn’t be a replacement for an employer paying an employee a living wage.
The whole American tipping culture feels like a never-ending game of chance. Did you tip enough? Did you tip too much? Should you tip the barista for making your coffee? What about when you order on the Starbucks app? It seems like there’s an expectation to tip now that wasn’t so blatant a decade ago.
Then consumers get fed up with all of this and stiff the waiter (not his or her fault) so some places have instituted an auto gratuity that you might miss if you aren’t looking at your bill closely enough. This happened to me when I was dining out with two family members. We were only a party of three but 18% was added to our bill to cover the tip. The waiter pointed it out, which we were appreciative of, but some don’t and you end up tipping twice.
In France, tipping is a courtesy, not an obligation. Prices are clear, and you know exactly what you’re paying ahead of time. Servers are paid a living wage and have work contracts. It’s not the customers’ responsibility to make up the difference so the person gets a living wage and can pay their bills every month.
***
The United States will always be my first home and there are so many things I love and miss about it. I wouldn’t trade my American upbringing for anything. But living abroad has opened my eyes to different ways of life. A little self-reflection and a healthy dose of humor never hurt anyone, right?
Hope you enjoyed this one on things I do NOT miss from the U.S.! If so, I’d love it if you shared it with a friend. 😉
PIN my what I don’t miss about living in the USA post:
Excellent post Diane and super photo of Tom and you. I’m very happy that you find pharmaceutical ads annoying. So do I. But I have a couple of other irritants found in the US and not in France.
1- never ending and constantly misleading political advertisements for every candidate under the sun. Not only at the national level but also at the state and local levels including those from states and other boarding states e.g. NJ, PA snd DL. Critical nasty ads everywhere.
2-Never ending political polls at every election level and for every candidate. Everyone if them is slanted and misleading. I have never been poled on my candidate choices.
3- Constant bragging that the US is the greatest nation on earth for all time. These boasts are likely from people who have never been or lived outside the US.
4- Misleading statements that medical care is the best in the US and instantly available. Not so. It’s taking months to get appointments with doctors especially specialists snd even worse if you are a new patient.
Thanks so much, Joe! The political ads are over the top, as are the bumper stickers and lawn signs. My dad lives in an HOA and a neighbor had a Trump sign up for about a day before the HOA removed it. You’ll never see lawn signs or any of that in France. I mean maybe a few outliers exist but it’s certainly not the norm.
Big debate tonight… will you be watching?
Hi Diane. I’m ambivalent about it. It’s never a real debate with issues snd counter points. Rather it’s been turned into a slug fest of name calling and uncivil rhetoric never with the needs of the country. I actually prefer to follow the French elections, a much better system. Perhaps you might repost your prior article on the French election system? Thank you. Joe.
Re Pharma commercials:
In particular for drugs for men, at the end it (almost) always says, “Ask your doctor of Zoflapamog is right for you. See our ad in Golf magazine.”
So, I determined to stay healthy by never taking up golf.
🙂
So funny, not a golf fan myself. Too much sun! And I forgot that yes, the damn ads are in magazines too! Full page spreads!
On work-life balance someone pointed it out to me a few years ago that most people in the US seem to think it’s a competition on who is the most exhausted from their daily life. For some reason that really put things into perspective for me and I actively started to put up boundaries around my time and my well-being. Sure, occasionally I will pack too much stuff into a week but not long term. Not anymore. Life is to be enjoyed and you will not miss much by cutting out things you think you “need” to do. Your blog and YouTube channel have helped to reinforce that, so Thank You!
Hi Marta, I definitely felt the hustle of it all earlier on in my career. Maybe it was the industry (sales) or the fact that I was in NYC, but I wasn’t cut out for it. When work causes daily anxiety, it’s never a good fit and I see it in friends and family way too much. I even remember crying on several particularly stressful days. We shouldn’t be crying at work, it’s just not that serious! But work can become our identity and a reflection of our worth and as I said, when our health insurance is tied to it, it’s hard not to take it super seriously.
Hi Diane: Always enjoy your comments and reflections.
I agree with you on all points, but, I have traveled extensively in Western Europe and easily understand what you have stated about the US.
I love France and considered moving there several times. What stopped me, however, is the knowledge I have about laws and traditions in France. Yikes! I know I would never have the patience to put up with the “red tape” paperwork, delays, and “laissez-faire” attitude I have seen, heard, and read about. For example: I would not trade knowing the local noise laws demand you stop making noise at 10 PM vs. some noisy French neighbor who plays music until dawn and have to go to the Mairie to complain! Or, a French neighbor who cuts down my hedgerow while I am on vacation and installs a cement wall, without permission. Still, I love France!
Thanks so much, Mimi. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. It’s true what you’re saying about red tape. It can be maddening to get seemingly simple things done and some of the rules really do make you wonder. Most of the things you get used to and take the bad (and annoying and infuriating) with the good.
I moved to the U.S. from Britain, and all the things on your list are things I find so odd about America and wish they did not happen. I was nodding away as I read this as all of what you said is so accurate. Great post!
Born in US, also nodding yes. Haha! Live in North East and when I grew up it wasn’t like this.
Oh, yes, I so agree with you! I grew up in the Netherlands, married an American and lived in the US for years. We also lived in 6 other countries and now happily live France. There is a lot to love about the US, of course, but the things you mentioned are definitely not! When we are back in the US visiting kids and friends, we notice all you mentioned. One thing in addition I’d like to mention, is the irritating idea Americans have that the US is the best country in the world with the best of everything. Sadly, world statistics show abominable ratings for the US. in many cases, maternal mortality rates for example. As you said, no place is perfect.
Bonjour Diane, I enjoy reading your blogs because you are so real with everything. I have not visited France as yet but it’s definitely on my bucket list. Thanks to you, I am much educated and have an idea what to expect. Thank you very much for all of the interesting information.
You’re very welcome, Patricia! I appreciate you taking the time to comment. I hope that my experiences will help others in some way even if everything isn’t picture perfect. Hope you get to come visit France soon!
Yes to the tipping culture getting out of hand!! Lovely lady giving me a pedicure, you truly deserve a tip. Nice guy who shopped for and delivered my perfect grocery list in o5 degree heat, you truly deserve a tip. Random cashier who rang me up a bottle of wine, why is there a tip line??
The Washington Post food critic’s weekly column also has an ongoing diatribe about all the random added on service fees.
Hi Gloria, exactly, it’s the random solicitation for a tip that grinds my gears, especially on payment terminals. I understand a tip jar and like those but when it’s almost expected in circumstances that don’t warrant a tip? No thanks!
Hi Diane. Your notes make my day! I so enjoy hearing of your life there.
But I keep hearing over and over about restaurant wait staff always earning a “living wage.” What does this mean to be sure? Is it a wage for rent, taxes, expenses for food, entertainment, etc? I just hear this comment so often that I wanted a better explanation. Can you help?
Hi Marty, so glad you enjoy my work! So what I mean by a living wage is that a server will earn a set salary with a work contract just like someone working as a cashier at grocery store or any other job. They don’t depend on tips like servers in the U.S. (whose actual hourly wage is like $2.14) but instead get a set salary every month. It’s not a super well-paid salary, but it’s a set amount every month. I think new servers make a little more than minimum wage. Hope that helps!
Agree with all of your comments about most disliked aspects of the U.S., particularly gun carrying. A recipe for disaster all around. Thank you for telling me about Bloctel. I have recently been getting more spam calls on my French number (likely it was sold to others by an internet website I bought clothing from), so I was happy to be able to sign up for Bloctel. Have a lovely summer!
Hi Ellen, glad I could help you out with Bloctel. They’re definitely a godsend if you get a bunch of nuisance calls. Have a wonderful summer as well!
I agree with everything you posted here and what you said about election attack ads in another post. But I’ll bet there’s one more thing you don’t miss about thee USA, and that’s the tendency to put convenience over everything else.
Let me see if I can explain myself. When I was a kid, fast food wasn’t that common, and it was a rare treat when my family got any of it. Now, I know people who eat nothing else, and when I ask why, it’s because it’s more convenient to just pick up something at a drive-through window than prepare food at home. I was also stunned recently when I was with someone who ordered fast food for us to eat, which I didn’t mind, but she did it on her smartphone and she had a delivery service drop it off. The burger place the food came from was only about a quarter of a mile away (easy walking distance to me) and she had a car, but she never even considered going to pick up the food. Also, I think that buying things in locally owned shops is not only a pleasant experience, but a good way to help your friends and neighbors earn an income, but here in this country, most people I know would rather go to a chain to get a slightly lower price, and more and more of the people I know never even see the inside of a store. And if I say that I’m going downtown to shop, most people tell me I should just buy online or offer me a ride to Wal-Mart. Please tell me that I’m getting a correct impression from your blogs and videos that the craze for total convenience has not yet spread to France.
I’d also like to know if you have noticed this trend when you visit America and what you think about it.
Hi Dena! Thanks for your comment. I think, as with most things, there’s a balance when it comes to convenience. If the option is there for a busy family to have food delivered or anything else to make someone’s life easier, I’m not here to judge at all. I’ve ordered takeout before both in France and the US. There are all types of reasons why someone would opt for the convenient option.
In France, there are loads of things that make life more convenient (but the US may see this stuff on a larger scale, especially depending on the area) like pharmacy delivery, food delivery, online shopping, relay points so packages can be delivered to a place when you aren’t home and picked up outside of business hours), order ahead groceries and grocery delivery, tons of fast food, etc. France definitely hasn’t resisted these things.
It can also be location dependent and comes down to people’s personal mentality, health, budget, etc. It’s certainly nuanced.
I hear you about people opting for convenience over all else and how that can be problematic. But I think for some people, having convenient options is a matter of necessity. It would be great if we could all afford to support local businesses and had the time/energy/good health/physical ability/childcare to walk to pick up what we need, but I feel like convenience culture exists because people need it/want it for whatever reason and so it continues. It’s a vicious cycle.
I do a fair amount of walking and try to support local businesses as best I can. But I also order takeout from time to time and shop online. All we can do is live our lives the way we think is best and support others trying to do the best they can as well. 😉
Girl! I stumbled across your blog, and I’m with you! I’m American and have been living in France for 10 years now. I grew up in PA and my family now lives in FL so we have some location similarities 🙂
Thank you for sharing your heart, you make me feel at home!
Aww thanks so much, Emilie, and welcome!! Glad you can relate!