Is life really better abroad? My honest take on living in France

When I decided to move France, it wasn’t because I was chasing a “better” life. That ended up being the case, but my life wasn’t bad in the U.S…. not by a long shot. I had a great NYC apartment off Wall Street, a stable job, friends, family nearby, a social life, and a comfortable routine. When I made the move to France, it wasn’t because I was running away from the U.S. I first moved abroad for work in 2009 and then when I came back a second time, it was for love (but our original plan wasn’t to stay here!!). Over time, the question has come up again and again — from friends, family, strangers on the internet: Is life really better abroad in France? Let’s unpack that.

The short answer is: Sometimes. In some ways. For some people. 

But that’s not the kind of answer that makes for a juicy Instagram caption or a viral YouTube title, is it? So instead, I want to give you a longer answer — the honest, human one — or at least try to, based on my real experience as an American living in France since 2012. Not a fantasy version. Not one trying to get you to buy anything. Not a complaints list.

Just truth, with a bit of heart, because if I can’t say it with heart, what the heck am I even doing here? I fully acknowledge the answer isn’t the same for everyone and it’s definitely not a one-size-fits-all answer that’ll necessarily last your entire life. We all change and grow and want different things out of life depending on where we are at the moment and where our hopes and dreams may take us in the future.

So is France right for you? Maybe it is… for now or will be in the future. Or maybe it’s not. We all have to walk our own path. If you love something and I don’t, that’s OK and vice versa. No judgment.

I’ll also say upfront I don’t think words can adequately answer this question, at least not my words, because the answer to, “Is life better in France?” is something I feel, more than anything. Is anyone else like that? You can think something and put it into words but what has always been strongest for me is my ability to feel (good and bad things, eek). It’s not something I can adequately express via the written word but here we are, so let me try. 

Also, it’s a huge topic and one I touch on often. I’ve written about if life in France is as good as it looks as well as the honest, unromantic reasons I belong in France, and when France feels like home (and when it doesn’t), so check them out too.

Here we go…

First: What exact is better about life in France?

Let me start with the positives because, yes, there are definitely things that feel better to me about life in France. You hear my talk about them over and over because that’s how much they matter. Of course, this is just my experience, but I’m sure many of you can relate.

1. The work-life balance is real

Here in France, people genuinely value life outside of work. Americans do too but we barely have time to think about it and our vacation time is over in a flash. In France, vacations are long, the workweek is often shorter, and there’s a shared cultural understanding that rest is productive. Employees all get five weeks of paid vacation that they’re expected to use. It’s their right and not a perk of working for a generous employer.

Coming from the U.S., where hustle culture is often glorified, this was a breath of fresh air. It wasn’t just something people talked about, but something they actually DID. Mind. Blown. The work switch flips off. People unplug. Sundays are for rest. Stores close earlier. Vacation is normal and they don’t have to be fancy.

It’s not that Americans don’t value life outside of work because we certainly do. It’s that systems are in place in the U.S. that make it hard for everyone to do that (no work contracts, health insurance tied to your job, etc.). Not all employees in the U.S. are entitled to vacation (and definitely not 5+ weeks), mat/paternity leave, have healthcare coverage, etc.

2. Everyday beauty matters

Even in the smallest towns, you’ll find charming architecture, well-preserved history, and a certain attention to aesthetic detail. Care is taken with simple things like sprinkling flour on a baguette or even the twist of a pastry bag. Beauty isn’t just reserved for the rich or famous… it’s part of daily life. People take time to enjoy the simple, little things in life. And that’s because they HAVE the time (see #1).

3. Universal healthcare = less stress

Your health insurance is NOT connected to your employer in France. Knowing I won’t go bankrupt if I need surgery is an incredible mental shift. I hope I won’t need surgery, but still, you get the point. Healthcare here isn’t perfect, but it’s accessible and affordable. That peace of mind changed the way I think about my well-being. The French view healthcare as a human right — not a privilege — and so do I.

Watch out before advocating for yourself at the doctor in France >>

 4. Slower pace, deeper connection

There’s less pressure to always be “on.” You can just be. Meals are slower. Conversations are longer. People tend to listen more. It’s helped me slow down and be more present. The focus isn’t on doing more and cramming as much as you can into your day. Here’s what the French taught me about enjoying life.

But here’s where it gets nuanced…

It would be easy to stop there, tie a bow on it, and say, “See? France is better!” But life’s not that simple and I’m not going to sit here blowing smoke up France’s cul just to paint some unrealistic picture. I haaaattttee that content. I think I’d be doing you a disservice if we oversimplified the idea of “better” and I’d be lying to myself too.

So let’s talk about that.

1. There’s no one-size-fits-all perfect place

We’re all wired differently. What feels liberating to me might feel stifling to you. What I find charming, someone else might find inconvenient. Our values, backgrounds, goals, and lifestyles all shape what kind of life we thrive in and that means that my better life might not be your better life.

I think I’m pretty adaptable and that as long as I have a roof over my head somewhere safe, a few solid relationships in my life, money in the bank, and a purpose, I can figure it out anywhere. Life is a lot easier when you feel like everything is good.

But someone going through a really tough time won’t be happy even in the most idyllic paradise. We bring so much to how we perceive our surroundings. And that’s not anyone’s fault, just the reality. Life can be hard even in paradise.

Kind of in the same vein, I’ve met people who put France up on this pedestal and are so happy to leave wherever they are because they think France is a utopia. I find it sad they can’t find anything good to say about where they’re currently living despite there being things to be grateful for (and despise) everywhere. Someone wise once told me that we see what we want to see and we’ll find what we’re looking for, both good and bad. Think about that. 

Anyway, some people crave sun and palm trees. Others want seasons and snowy mountains (me me me!). Some need community. Others want solitude. Some are energized by the pace of NYC. Others feel alive in a quiet Provençal village. None of these options are right and wrong. You bring a lot to the equation.

2. Fulfillment matters more than where you live

This one is connected to what I said above. You can have stunning views, delicious food, and charming neighbors and still feel lost or lonely inside. If you’re safe, fulfilled, curious, and content where you are — whether that’s Paris, Pittsburgh, or Perth — that’s what really matters. The external circumstances can count for a lot but they aren’t everything.

There’s also this side of things. For someone who moved abroad for their spouse’s job, maybe had a strong personal and professional network back home and LOVED where they were living, a move abroad might feel like punishment. I know people who couldn’t enjoy the beauty around them and the positive parts of where they were living because they were so hung up on what they had left behind. It can be really hard. You have to find that inner fulfillment. It has to come from you, not the exterior.

I also think we have to be careful of not idealizing the path we didn’t take and putting a life abroad up on this pedestal where we say to ourselves, “I’ll be happy when I move abroad” or “Everything is terrible here. I need to move abroad and then things will be great.” Because by doing that, first off you have no idea how life will be abroad until you’re abroad and two, you’re missing out on so much life happening in the present and wasting precious time. Life is too short.

What I didn’t know I missing until I moved to France >>

3. Better is deeply subjective

This is my entire point. We often chase external markers of happiness, but internal peace matters more. For me, France aligns with how I like to live: a little slower, more intentionally, with connection at the core. At least that’s how I feel now and that’s what’s important. But maybe that will change. I have no idea. Maybe I could have achieved that back in the U.S. if I moved out of NYC and changed jobs. I don’t know.

I still miss things from back home. I still question things. On really bad days, I question moving here. And other days? I yearn for the familiarity of where I grew up. So… is France better? In some ways. But in others? It’s just different. 

4. Life is short and you’re not stuck

Here’s the part I really want to emphasize: You’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to try. And you’re allowed to leave.

I leave a lot actually. Before my mom died, I don’t think Tom and I ever left France for more than 10 days in a row. I was locked in AF. We had our dog Dagny and we never wanted to be away from her for too long. Then, after feeling that grief from losing my mom, our sweet Dagny, and others, my priorities changed and I spend more time in the U.S. now than I think I did my entire first decade in France combined.

My point here is that IT IS YOUR LIFE. And it’s soooo short. I’ve said that a few times here because it’s true. Make it work for you, whether you live abroad or not.

Where you live isn’t a life sentence. It’s a chapter. If you’re feeling the pull to move abroad, it doesn’t have to be forever. But if you never try, the regret may haunt you later. That goes for anything in life.

I’ve learned that we have more agency than we think. We can create new versions of our lives. And that, in itself, is freeing.

So… Is life really better abroad?

It can be. It has been for me. I have a house, a husband, a purpose, friends, and a healthy body and mind, none of which I take for granted. Ever. That’s something I’m really serious about. Is my life better in France? Yes, but I’ve made it that way.

This is the case because I approached it with curiosity, openness, and a willingness to grow, and that hasn’t always been easy. I am a work in progress and have a long way to go. I didn’t expect France to fix anything. I came to live, not escape. My eyes are wide open.

Living abroad won’t magically make your life better, but it will make it different and I’m here for it. It will challenge you, stretch you, humble you, and maybe, if you’re lucky, surprise you in all the best ways.

You take the bad with the good and hope the good outweighs that bad, or at least that’s what you put most of your energy into, focusing on that good.

So if you’re dreaming of life abroad, ask yourself not, *“Will this be better?” but instead, “Does this feel right for the version of me I want to grow into?”

And if the answer is yes? Do it. Try it. Go. You can always come home. Or… you might find a new one like me.

Maybe the better question isn’t, “Is life in France better?” but instead “Am I better?” Wow, that gives me a lot to think about.

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Finally, I don’t know what’s gotten into me the past week or so. I hadn’t published a blog post for about five months and then boom, four in two weeks. I’m on a roll.

Do me a favor please, if you enjoy this type of content, could you let me know in the comments? With short-form video taking over (which I don’t do), it feels like I’m writing into a void. Ten people will email me if there’s a typo, but I never know if my posts actually land with anyone out there! I try to write thoughtful content that I’d want to read but maybe garbage content just for clicks is the way forward. Joking. Half joking. Hahaha, let me know, k? Merci. 😉
xx