A quote at the end of an article I read about the success of a French lifestyle brand got me thinking. The article itself was super interesting and positive, and for some reason, the quote at the end left me feeling weird. And I didn’t know why. So to figure it out, I did what I often do when I feel that way. I walked the dog.
This isn’t a critique of the brand I read about specifically, so that’s why I’m not naming them or linking to the exact quote because that’s not the point. I’m taking a closer look at the concept of fantasy worlds in general.
The quote at the end of the article that left me feeling a little let down went like this. The first part of the quote was great and the editor says they offer authentic content that doesn’t focus on a rose-colored glasses fantasy. Great. Love it.
But she goes on and it was the last part that made me a little sad. She said that their brand doesn’t completely erase clichés and stereotypes because it’s part of the charm to play into that fantasy world because those things sell.
Hmm.
On the surface, it makes sense. I get it. I really do. If we were to look at France specifically, the whole romanticized image of France and its people sells. Gosh, do I know that.
If you Google French girl this and that, you’ll find a whole bunch of articles on how to live life better, dress better, eat better… like the French. As if all French people are a certain way, an ultimately better way. It’s selling a dream. And damn, is it a good one.
So what’s my issue with the quote and this mindset that leaves little room for deviation? The fact that it’s perpetuating a non-reality.
How can you say in one breath that you’re authentic and real, and then in the next, admit that you play into a fantasy world? There’s a disconnect there and it comes across as anything but authentic. And it’s everywhere!
Everyone knows French clichés aren’t real life, don’t they? NO! The longer I’m in this space, the more I realize people do believe the clichés. All French people do this or act like that. People shockingly believe that life in France is a dream come true. They believe that living here is a 24/7 vacation and if they move here, they too will be living the dream.
I wholeheartedly enjoy my life in France and it’s where I want to be, but it’s a real place with pros and cons like anywhere else. Here are a bunch of reasons NOT to move to France.
But back to the clichés. Yes, there’s some truth in every cliché, but what happens when we admit that we’re selling the dream? It makes the place or thing seem less special, attainable, and real.
I don’t like when people refuse to see what’s behind the curtain. The negatives. The imperfect façade that’s right in front of us if we only opened our eyes to the lessons right under our nose. There’s beauty in the imperfections and we shouldn’t run from them. By allowing ourselves to see the entire spectrum of good, bad, and everything in between, we’re being shown a more authentic reality and that’s important.
By allowing ourselves to see the entire spectrum of good, bad, and everything in between, we're being shown a more authentic reality and that's important.Click To TweetReal talk time.
There’s no value in crafting a narrative of a fantasy world that’s about as far from the truth as possible.
I don’t like any company or brand that idealizes any lifestyle — especially the French one — to the point of being contrived, overly stereotypical, and 100% positive all the time with no room for reality or deviation from what’s expected. You know the dreams we’re shown… the perfectly staged lives with people who effortlessly love, live, and laugh without a care in the world.
Maybe my issue is that when we play into a fantasy, we’re setting expectations that are unattainably high. We build something up in our minds so that no reality will ever live up to what we’ve concocted in our heads. It’s so much harder to go back and live “real life” when we think fantasy worlds are real and happening somewhere else and we can’t possibly measure up.
It makes us less appreciative of the present moment and where we are now.
It's so much harder to go back and live 'real life' when we think fantasy worlds are real and happening somewhere else. Click To TweetThe fantasy takes the best aspects of something and mushes them together into a utopia of epic proportions, so that when you see the reality — so in this case, let’s say going to Paris on vacation — you can’t help but feel let down. You know about the Paris Syndrome, right?
Or who knows, maybe your trip will live up to the fantasy. In that case, great. But are you looking for Disney World or a real place?
Is it better to go into something with low expectations so the only way is up and you’ll be pleasantly surprised? Or maybe go in with no expectations at all?
Listen, I get it. In the case of a vacation, after traveling across an ocean and spending your hard-earned cash, who wants to be let down? Not me. When you only have a week to see a place, you want to spend your time wisely taking in the best a locale has to offer. You can do that, though, without living in a fantasy world.
My real issue is this. Fantasy worlds are lies.
It’s not about Paris, or France or any one thing in particular. It’s playing into a fantasy in the first place that’s the issue — while claiming you’re real.
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Great insight on this Diane, I was curious what the post would be like!
Thanks for reading!
Loved your post! Thank you so much for your insight. After spending a month in France with my 11 year old son, I experienced quite a bit of reality. Was it amazing there? Yes! The history, the charm, the beautiful scenery. France is amazing but it is also exhausting. Pumping gas for the first time (who knew that you had to pump first, then pay) buying fruit (wait, what? Use what scale and sticker?) getting out of a parking structure (ohhhh, you validate it at a separate kiosk- wish I would have known so I wouldn’t have 6 cars behind me honking and yelling while my 11 year old is dying of embarrassment). It’s not all fantasy. But would I do it again? In a heartbeat. Well, maybe a long heartbeat. 😉 Thanks for keeping it real for all of us dreamers. 🙂
Thank you! Yes, France can be exhausting, as life can be anywhere, but sometimes w/the language and culture, it gets very overwhelming, especially the first year or two. But it’s all a learning experience. Now you know how to pump gas here. And about the fruit, it’s not the same everywhere so some grocery stores have scales where the customer weighs the produce and others do it at the register. Even French people forget sometimes so I feel better knowing that. 😉
Thx again and always happy to keep it real around here.
“By allowing ourselves to see the entire spectrum of good, bad, and everything in between, we’re being shown a more authentic reality and that’s important.”
YES. Such a great point. Thank you for sharing this perspective!
You’re welcome, thanks for reading!
Had to share this wonderful in-sighted article on FB.
Thank you very much!
Really enjoyed reading this Diane, particularly because it’s something I’ve been pondering about lately as well. Things can’t be perfect (or perfectly arranged) all the time. Everyone’s life is a serious of peaks and troughs and most importantly, the bits in between, which is where life may seem somewhat mundane. And no one like to talk about the mundane but ahem – that’s where life actually happens.
Also I love that you take your dog for a walk to mull things over. I always instigated pup cuddling time when I needed to think about things too! Or talk them over, haha. Miss that old boy and his steady gaze of reason.
Thanks, LC! Yah, the mundane stuff is what we can all identify with I think. When we look past our best lives we put on social media, the rest of the day is work, laundry, cleaning, errands, whatever. Everyone does those things. Maybe they aren’t interesting but we can all relate. Fantasy worlds, on the other hand, well you know my thoughts from reading the post.
Yup, dog walking is great. Or just nature walks in general. Being outside has a calming force on me and I do my best work when I’m out with the dog just thinking about stuff.
Again, so sorry for the loss of your dog. I remember reading that post. ;-(
Another perfectly worded, insightful post. I loved what you said about idealization “to the point of being contrived, overly stereotypical, and 100% positive all the time…”. This is so true and can be applied to so many things—life abroad, travel, relationships. Advertising and entertainment sell these ideas and it can be so hard to not let them take up residence in our beliefs! The sooner we break down those walls, the sooner we’re able to live in the moment and be flexible no matter what happens. Sharing this on FB for sure!
Thank you, Danielle. I knew you’d understand this one. I think advertising can be crazy but ideas get stuck in our head and then they become our reality. Moving to France has broken so many ingrained thoughts I’ve had about French people, the world, and just life in general. So living abroad has been great, but it’s SO hard when people think certain things are fairy tales.