We’re all human and things get under our skin. Things annoy us, make us mad or sad, and sometimes, they weird us out. Whenever I come across one of these things on my list, I can’t help but be weirded out. Sometimes I’m involved, and sometimes I’m just a passerby — but one thing is for sure. I’m always weirded out on some level. And no, these aren’t France-specific things although some do involve France!
Read on for a few things that weird me out!
Things that weird me out
Bisous
In France, little kisses on the cheek (usually one on each side but sometimes more depending on the relationship and region) are called bises and take place between friends, family and others that you know well up greeting them (and leaving). I think. Heck, I have no clue about the etiquette because faire la bise rules are baffling for a foreigner. I know I should do bisous with my in-laws upon arriving, one on each side (which side do we start with?), and again when we leave. I also learned that if you go to bisous your doctor, he’s gonna think you’re a weirdo. And trying to hug a French person? Forget it. Hugging is way more natural for me but they don’t do it here. Why do I get weirded out? Probably for fear of messing up! One day I’ll be a bisous expert but for now, they weird me out!
Leaving dog poop on the ground
Paris is known for having dog poop everywhere, but it’s not just Paris. I don’t get why the French don’t JUST PICK IT UP! I’m the one who hands complete strangers a poop bag with a smile and a “You must have forgotten your bag today. Here you go!” Will it make a difference? I don’t know. Dog poop on my shoe is definitely one of those things that weirds me out. And makes me mad!
Men in Speedos
In the U.S., if an American guy wears a Speedo to the beach or pool, there will be some people snickering around him (or is that just me?). It’s just not the norm. Americans wear swim trunks and board shorts and not usually a suit that shows the outline of your junk. But in France? Speedos are the norm! In fact, at most public pools, men are only allowed to wear a formfitting bathing suit and NOT board shorts. There’s nothing like seeing a big, 80-year-old, overly tanned guy trying to put sunscreen on his ankles. Many French guys do wear swim trunks or shorts, but Speedos are still alive and well (especially w/the older crowd).
Unscensored nature of French TV
In the U.S., you can’t even say shit on network TV and even shows rated TV-14 are pretty tame. There’s no nudity or anything too controversial during the daytime and evening hours. But in France, you could be eating dinner and a naked woman will be on the screen. Or a news program will show the dead bodies after an accident where an American news show would cut away. Or like yesterday afternoon, a program on culture showed a man beating a chicken to death in the Philippines. When asked by the French host why he was taking 10 minutes to kill it (and it screaming the whole time) instead of putting it out of its misery, he said because it tastes better if the chicken suffers. And the next scene switched to the beach like it was nothing. You never know what you’re going to get! As an American who is used to somewhat tame things on TV during the day, French TV definitely surprises me from time to time — and not always in a good way.
Parents harshly disciplining their kids in public
Screaming small children annoy me most of the time. Make that all of the time. On the street, in restaurants and definitely on elevators and public transportation. The kid is probably screaming for a reason and it’s up to the parent to handle that. But when they handle it badly, you don’t have to be a parent to know when the discipline has gone too far. And then I will get involved (Ever see the show What Would You Do?).
I’ll never forget this time when I was on the subway in NYC and a woman across from me was getting really rough with her toddler. She was slamming him into the seat and pushing him back roughly for trying to stand up. Then when he was getting really fussy and crying, she just got more and more rough, even hitting him so hard that his head hit the railing next to the seat. This was definitely abuse. Everyone on the subway took notice and exchanged concerned looks until I said something because everyone else just sat there. I said something like, “You should take it easy with your kid. I hear they can break.” And normally I wouldn’t get involved in someone else’s business but the poor kid was helpless. Then the others chimed in and I just hope the little boy’s mom realized she was majorly out of line. Parents, it’s OK to take a time out when you just can’t deal!
French bathrooms with toilets in rooms separate from the sink
If you’ve been reading my blog recently, you know we’re house hunting and one thing that is quite popular here is to have your toilet completely separate from the rest of the bathroom (sink and shower in one room and the toilet in another). This is not always the case, but it is common. And in one instance in an apartment we looked at, a whole hallway separated the toilet from the sink. Not sure about you, but it weirds me out to pee (or whatever), then pull up your pants and touch the door handle, walk down the hall to the sink and wash your hands. That is WEIRD. People forget to wash their hands as it is and if the sink is a whole 5-second walk away? Eeek. Guess what? Our new house that we’re moving into in a couple of weeks has two bathrooms and BOTH have the sink in the the same room as the toilet.
Tell me — what weirds you out about wherever you live (or life in general)?
I live in Ecuador and also fail at the air/cheek kiss thing. For Ecuadorians it’s a kiss on one cheek, but for Europeans it’s both. Never can remember which to do.
And though you see a few speedos here, you see far more people in just their underwear. I think I’d rather have speedos than wet tighty-whiteys to look at in the pool. *shudder*
Tighty whiteys at the pool? Yuck. It’s probably not a pretty site once they’re wet. Yikes! Glad to know I’m not the only one who messes up bisous!
Also go right cheek to right cheek to start the bisou. If both of you are wearing a hat or glasses, one of you must take them off. Here in the Touraine it’s 2 kisses, but we have Belgian and Dutch friends who habitually do 3 and I always mess that up.
Not just is it weird to bisou your doctor, but my doctor’s wife announced to me in the boulangerie one day that she bisou’s no one (shades of Mme Chirac I thought, who is supposedly so uptight she vouvoies Jacques). I had bisou’d the third person in the conversation, partly because her hands were full, but Mme l’épouse du medicin shook her little finger rather than bise. According to Mme, les anglais bise very easily. This is news to me, but I’m Australian, so what would I know 🙂
Hahah, yes the bisous really are silly when I think about it. So many rules! I’d love to bisou my doctor lol!!