Life is a funny thing. Uncertainty finds its way into even the best laid plans and sometimes you don’t know which way is up. I never thought I’d find myself married and living in beautiful France. I never expected any of this but am so thankful for everything thus far! One thing about uncertainty is that it forces you to make decisions (if you want to keep on moving forward, that is) and push yourself as a human being. For that, I’ll be forever grateful. Sometimes certainty is a result, and now, I’m quite certain that France is my home.
I never thought I’d be away this long. Would you believe me if I said I haven’t been stateside since my wedding a year and a half ago? It’s the truth, but that’s about to change — Tom and I finally have our plane tickets booked back to the U.S. in June for my brother’s wedding. But will it feel like home? I’m not so sure.
Aside from seeing my brother marry the gorgeous love of his life this June, I’m looking forward to so many things in the US. Where do I begin? Seeing my family and friends, frozen yogurt, GOOD Chinese food, stores being open late, something to do on Sunday, etc. And while I’m anxiously awaiting that trip, I have to say that very recently, I’ve started to think of it as a vacation — and not me returning home. Strangely enough, I’m starting to feel like France is my home. At least for now. And I’m 100% OK with that.
I have a routine here. The pharmacist knows me and I know him. The thought of NOT greeting someone with a cheery bonjour, not hearing TV in French and NOT seeing prices in Euros all seem strange to me.
I haven’t been in France THAT long, but I feel like I’m here for a reason and it’s where I’m supposed to be.
Not that I won’t enjoy my whirlwind of a trip home –- I absolutely will –- but I no longer feel like I’m just making a pit stop in France on my path to somewhere else.
So is the U.S. still my home?
I’m not sure. It probably doesn’t help that my parents are selling the house I grew up in and heading south. Why does France feel like home? Maybe it’s the fact that we’re in the process of buying an apartment and that makes living in France seem more permanent. Or maybe that permanence is what I’ve been yearning for to feel like I’m home. In any case, I feel more calm knowing we’ll have something that’s ours. And that makes me excited for the future ahead.
Do I feel I’ve integrated with French society? Not exactly, but there’s time for that!