Want to annoy the French? Watch out for these 9 ways to offend the locals

Maybe you’re heading to France soon or you just moved here. Congrats! But getting up to speed culturally can be a bit of a challenge. To that end, let me save you from majorly embarrassing yourself. There are several ways to offend the French faster than you can buy a baguette, so let’s get into it!

Watch out for these 9 things that offend the French

Alrighty, let me point out upfront that the level of offense for what I mention below depends on the person, their upbringing, class, the context of the situation, etc. Some people will brush these things off like they’re no big deal, some might be slightly annoyed, and other French folks might never invite you anywhere again.

There are also a lot of downright rude things foreigners do in France to be aware of as well so check out the linked post because I think you’ll like it.

But the takeaway is not that French people all have delicate sensibilities and you have to tiptoe around them. There’s always nuance. The point is that not everyone is the same, just like you might be offended by something and your friend who experienced the same thing might not care at all. It just depends. But to be on the safe side, exercise caution.

OK, let’s go…

9 Ways to offend (or at least annoy) French people:

1. Insult their food or way of preparing food

Food culture in France is like a religion. Chefs and service staff take pride in their work and treat food and meals with respect. Because of this, they might take any criticism personally. So if you don’t like a certain type of food or don’t care for how something is prepared, be tactful about expressing that, if you even express it at all.

My favorite French mealtime habit >>

2. Show up to dinner at a restaurant in athletic attire

In the U.S., depending on the company you keep and region, you could get away with going to dinner in super casual clothes, even workout clothes. Think hoodie, leggings and sneakers, especially at a casual restaurant. No one will side eye you too hard.

But in France, especially in bigger cities, people tend to dress up for the occasion a bit more than the average American. Gym clothes are pretty much just for the gym. Even at a casual restaurant, people aren’t wearing gym attire. For a a quick stop at the bakery on the way home, sure, but an actual sit-down meal? No.

Overall, French people generally associate how they present themselves with having self-respect, so showing up to dinner in Lululemon leggings and athletic sneakers is basically saying you don’t respect yourself or your hosts enough to show up in a proper outfit.

Now of course French people do wear sneakers and t-shirts and other super casual looks but not out to eat at a restaurant. I have a blog post you might like about how to dress in France if you’d like to learn more.

3. Bringing a bouquet of chrysanthemums to a dinner party

Chrysanthemums (or mums) are les chrysanthèmes (lay kree-zon-tem) in French and you do NOT want to give them to your host. You’ll see colorful bouquets and potted chrysanthemums at florists in France, especially around the Toussaint holiday, All Saints’ Day, on Nov. 1.

No matter how pretty they are, don’t buy them to bring to a dinner party or as a friend’s housewarming gift or anything like that. It’s a definite faux pas.

Mums are for funerals and to put on gravestones at the cemetery. That’s it. So if you’re not paying respects to someone who has passed on, skip the mums!

7 French habits Americans find rude >>

4. Speaking too loudly in public

Americans, as well as other nationalities, have a reputation for being loud. You can always spot the American tourist because you can hear them from across the restaurant. The French tend to be a little more discreet and keep their volume levels a bit lower than what we might be used to.

If you’re a bit of a loud talker, you may want to try to speak a little quieter in France so you don’t call attention to yourself and disturb the people around you. If someone across the room can hear your private conversation or you’re turning heads from across the street because people can hear you on the phone, that’s a sign to take it down a notch.

5. Telling someone to smile

This used to happen to me back in NYC when I’d walk down the street deep in thought just minding my own business. My default neutral face was blank. I’m not someone who just walks down the street with a big toothy grin just for the heck of it. If I’m by myself and just walking, I’m not grinning ear to ear. That would be…… weird.

Sometimes construction workers would shout, “Hey, smile!” as if it was my duty to look presentable for them. Ugh. I’d hear people say this to others in the U.S., always men saying it to women, like it’s a normal, harmless thing to say, telling someone to smile.

I personally find it annoying. My default blank face skews more “resting b*tch face” than smiley. Some of us wear stress or concern on our face. Moreover, not every moment is a moment to smile. What if we just got some bad news or aren’t feeling well? Covering that with a fake smile just to please others should not be the norm.

Anyway, I’ve never heard anyone telling women to “SMILE!” in France. I think the French might find it really annoying and even confusing to be told to smile just for the sake of it.

Turns out, in some countries, a smile is earned, not freely given. The default face in France isn’t a fake plastered-on smile just to put others around you at ease.

6. Walking right up to someone and immediately start speaking English

I see this all the time in touristy places when foreigners approach French people without a bonjour or any effort at all. Back when I lived in NYC, I remember being approached by tourists who didn’t speak English and when they started talking to me in their native language hoping I’d understand, it was really awkward to say the least, so don’t do this in English to French people.

Yes, most people who work in tourism will have atleast a conversational level of English to do their jobs, but don’t take it for granted. If you go up to someone and immediately start speaking English, it comes across as entitled. No one expects tourists to know perfect French or anything close, but basic common courtesy goes a long way.

Learn a few key French phrases and watch how much they’re appreciated. Always start with bonjour. Click that link for more on why you should NEVER skip the obligatory bonjour, and ask if they speak English before just assuming the person does. You can say, “Bonjour, parlez-vous anglais ?” If they do speak English, great. Politeness wins, always.

7. Filming people or their wares without asking first

Using your phone out in public is pretty commonplace these days. Snapping pictures is normal, but be careful if you’re going to take pictures of people. I had an experience, which I told you about in my video about my worst ever experience in France, where I was at a farmers’ market in a public parking lot outdoors, not private property, and took a photo of the beautiful paella and rotisserie chickens.

The woman working there scolded me for doing so without asking first, although she wasn’t anywhere near the food. I didn’t take a picture of her, just the food. So when in doubt, ask before you photograph or video anything just to be on the safe side.

P.S. That wasn’t the worst experience. It was just something else I mentioned in the video, which is worth a watch!

8. Flaunting your money and acting showy

French people loooooove to hate the rich. When it comes to Americans specifically, they feel that money creates a sense of entitlement. I know you’ve seen rich tourists acting like they own the place and then when the French don’t bend over backwards for them (like the treatment they’d get at home), and are instead treated like any other French person regardless of wealth, they feel slighted. Then the French get branded as rude or unfriendly.

In France, having a lot of money is seen as suspicious. There are two things money can’t buy, respect and class. Be discreet!

9. Immediately coming on strong, asking questions about their personal life like what they do for a living or how much they make

If you don’t know someone well or at all, don’t delve into their personal life. Period. Small talk is a bit different in France, so check out the blog post for more details. I’ve also talked at length about the public vs. private sphere here. 

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TELL ME: What behavior have you witnessed that annoys the locals? 

Also, if you’d like more tips and advice for an upcoming trip to France, I have an eGuide you can buy that helps support Oui In France. It covers all kinds of practical tips for tourists about dining out, the culture, language and more and it’s called “75 Beginner France Travel Tips for a Standout Trip.”

 

 

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