Maybe you’ve seen this viral Tiktok video making the rounds from a woman named Angela (@realphdfoodie) who recently visited Lyon over the holidays as a solo traveler. She had a bad experience in France and people are riled up… so much so that it even made French news.
@realphdfoodie Solo traveling in France is such an isolating experience. Do not recommend for solo travelers and people who do not speak French. #france #lyon #lyonfrance🇫🇷 #lyonfrance #solotraveler #solofemaletraveler #solotravelwoman #frenchculture #frenchcultureshock #fyp #fypシ ♬ original sound – RealPhDFoodie
Angela says France made her cry and that “people make you feel bad for not knowing their culture or not speaking their language.”
Ouch.
She goes on to explain that people in the city seemed indifferent to her. Angela said she didn’t have these kinds of problems socializing with locals during her trips to Italy and Germany. She did her best to speak what little French she knew, but still, she didn’t have a great experience.
And she’s not alone.
Is it really that shocking (or newsworthy) that someone had a bad experience in France?
If you look at my recent YouTube videos about what Americans find rude about the French and vice versa, you’ll see the comments section is flooded with Americans convinced that the French are the rudest people on the planet.
But if you hang around in Francophile groups and blogs that primarily attract people in love with all things French, you’ll get a very different — and shocking — response (keep reading, I talk about it below). I saw it once again when I shared Angela’s experience via this Business Insider article just now on my FB page.
When someone speaks up to share their bad experience or to share something critical about France, people seem to get very defensive. And even resort to personal attacks.
It’s the strangest thing.
Instead of hearing what the person is saying, people go off the deep end.
I feel like the topic of France/French people is unnecessarily polarizing. I mean, aren’t there more important things in the world to get this fired up about?
You get people who fall into 3 categories:
1) People who love France and French people unconditionally and believe that life here is a paradise. All French people are all lovely and kind all the time. France can do no wrong.
2) People who despise France and the French and the very mention of it evokes major disgust or even hatred (as I said, check out the YT comments for perfect examples). No matter what you say or do, they will not listen and they hate France and would never go (or return).
3) People who fall somewhere in the middle. Those of us who are more realistic in our thinking can appreciate France and the French while also acknowledging the nuances inherent in these types of conversations.
I vibe with the people who fall into group three. You with me?
But people in group one — and there are MANY of them — seem to take any critique about France — no matter how valid — personally. It’s like they think of France as a human friend that we’ve just offended that they need to defend.
What usually follows is the person blaming the individual who spoke up with something rude like, “Oh, it must’ve been your fault because I’ve only had great experiences,” as if bad experiences don’t exist or they only happen to bad travelers. Of course they exist. Sometimes it’s our fault, and sometimes the people we encounter are having a bad day themselves, and sometimes it’s just the luck of our circumstances.
Just because you’ve had only great experiences in France doesn’t mean that bad experiences don’t exist. You haven’t spent enough time here if that’s the case.
How do I know? Because I’ve lived in France since 2012 and it’s a real place, with real people and problems. It’s regular life here and the problems you have at home happen here too. We’re all human. Nowhere is perfect. Nice people can sometimes be rude or indifferent. A vacation in France isn’t the same as living here.
I told you I hated France the first time I visited. We were spit on. I’ve had many bad experiences over the years. And guess what? If I were still living in NYC, I’m sure I would have had some bad experiences sprinkled in as well. That’s life.
I feel for Angela, I do.
As someone who doesn’t enjoy traveling solo, I know what Angela means about feeling isolated and I’m sorry she had such a bad experience in Lyon. I believe her account. France is not easy by any means, so it doesn’t surprise me.
At the same time, she was in Lyon over the holidays. People are busy with family and traveling themselves so not everyone is available and meet up apps are unusually quiet.
Also, I think it’s pretty normal to feel isolated in a country if you don’t speak the language. Most French people (outside of the tourism industry) do NOT speak fluent English. It would be similarly isolating for a French person traveling in the U.S. and not speaking a word of English beyond hello. There’s a major communication barrier.
Add to that other unfortunate circumstances and I absolutely understand how that could affect one’s perception of a place and them never wanting to return.
Anyway, Angela was clearly emotional and I wanted to give her a hug. I feel like the lack of empathy makes people not want to speak up when they have a bad experience. That’s why we have all these amazing stories and blogs and content about how great France is all the time because people get shamed and blamed and judged when they have a different experience.
So they shut up. It skews the reality and makes people think France is a utopia.
Believe me, I wouldn’t be living in France if I didn’t enjoy life here, but as I always say, it’s not paradise.
Angela, I hope you’ll give France another try…
It’s a shame that she has had a difficult time as a solo traveler in Lyon. It doesn’t sound as if she has any French language skills even if only the basics like bonjour, merci and a few other words. I remember my first few trips to Paris with a companion. The language barrier is really hard. Not sure why she chose Lyon rather than Paris where a solo traveler can take a low cost tour bus in English and stick to the main tourist areas and sites which always accommodate English speakers. And there are plenty of English speaking people non French you will hear at cafes who might enjoy a conversation too.
Traveling alone is always difficult and terrible if you don’t speak the language.
However Ive continued with my visits to Paris and have found it to be a interesting city especially the cultural aspects. Now friends and relatives want to visit with me. I don’t expect to join social groups but I do speak with other people who are speaking some type of English. And Ive had conversations with French speakers who weren’t pressed for time.
I now spend many visits to Paris as a solo traveler and this past fall I traveled alone from paris to Saint Malo, Angers, Mount Saint Michael, Caen, Honfleur, Issy les Moulineaux and back to Paris. Each town had tourist information centers which are indispensable. I managed conversations using my fractured french. I’ve visited Lyon before but wouldn’t recommend it to a solo traveler who doesn’t speak french. I’d encourage this nice lady to at least try Paris if only for a few days.
Rude impatient people exist everywhere. Im originally from Philadelphia and remember a foreigner asking me for directions in his native language. I started by saying I don’t understand, but then I remembered how I felt when trying to get directions in France. So after listening for a few seconds, he only wanted to know how to get to the Liberty Bell. I was able to help him and I still remember how happy he was for my assistance. Please don’t get upset or give up.
Joe.
,
Philly represent!
I feel for this girl but sometime visitors don’t prepare ahead for a trip where they don’t speak the language. New Year’s is a holiday for folks, I’m surprised anything was open. Around this time of year most people are celebrating with their families I mean its crazy here between Christmas and New Year, of course it’s crazy elsewhere.
But yeah, hopefully the heads up was taken on board.
And go you brother enjoy travelling!!
Hi Joe, it always impresses me to hear about your solo travels and how much fun you get up to. I’m so glad Tom and I got to meet you in person when you were in our neck of the woods. Thanks for taking the time to read and comment.
Diane
I first moved to Paris in June 1989, the year of the French Bicentennial. I remember my French teacher, who was Parisienne and obviously, spoke French, said that she was leaving the city for the 14 juillet weekend. She said that when she went to the touristy parts of Paris that she was treated rudely and overcharged, among other things, as a French person, so we who were learning French shouldn’t expect anything different. I grew up in Central Florida near all the Disney and Universal stuff. Her comments made me think that if all you knew about the USA was around International Drive, Disney and Universal where you’re treated rudely and overcharged, you’d have the same impression as some people do of Paris.
As a quick aside, I did venture out to the Champs Élysées for some of the défile (parade) on 14 juillet where I heard an American tourist say that she couldn’t see the parade and that this was the last one of “their” bicentennials she was going to attend. True enough. LOL.
During my time in Paris, I noticed that most ex-pats go through 3 stages while living abroad. For the first 6 months or so, they love everything about France and want to live there forever. The second 6 months, they hate everything about France and the French. Most, not all, move on to a stage where they recognize the pluses and minuses of their home country and France, and make the best of it. I’ve known a bunch of people who never get the third stage.
Hi Jay, I think the stages are pretty accurate for most people. Those of us who stick around get to a nuanced equilibrium at some point. 😉
Bonjour
En France, on parle Français, et ce n’est pas rare de rencontrer des personnes qui ne parlent pas du tout Anglais, surtout dans des régions peu touristiques.
Moi-même, lorsque je vais aux Etats-unis, je fais l’effort de parler anglais, car j’aime correspondre avec d’autres cultures. D’ailleurs, je ne pense pas qu’on me répondrais si je ne parlais pas anglais.
Alors, pourquoi cela serait différent chez nous ?
Beaucoup pensent que les américains se sentent toujours supérieurs aux autres et ne font aucun effort, ce qui engendre un fort sentiment anti-américains.
D’autres auront la peur de mal s’exprimer et par timidité pourront passer pour des malpolis.
Après, je pense que les Français ne sont pas habitués à discuter avec des inconnus dans la rue et sont plutôt individualistes. Ce n’est tout simplement pas dans notre culture.
Nous n’avons pas pour habitude de parler avec des inconnus.
Excellent post. As a US citizen (United States isn’t the only country in the Americas) who visits Paris annually and most recently traveled to eight other French towns by train and local buses, I had to prepare everything except the restaurant and cafés which I enjoy exploring on my own. I constantly work on my fractured French but have zero places to practice it.
I’ve been to Lyon several years ago. My traveling companion who didn’t speak any French didn’t make any reservations and assumed we could get a hotel room in town. Because of the international food festival nothing was available. However I went to the tourist information center where an English speaking staff member found us a room at the Radison hotel near the train station. T I centers are extremely helpful throughout France.
So I’m sorry that she feels that she was treated poorly but the article in The Business Journal referenced in the post reports that she has been offered a free trip back to France. I hope she takes it and has a wonderful time there.
As far as “US American arrogance”, the chant “we’re number one” can be seen as arrogance by others who also live in highly accomplished countries such as France.
All my best, Joe.
She really tried….she even bought a French hat! She comes across to me as a spoiled petulant child. I have traveled extensively in France the last 10 years. I speak tourist French. Never had a problem. I always found the French very helpful and friendly. In fact, we loved it so much we bought a house in France. We are the only Americans in our village and the people that live there welcomed us very warmly.
I 100% agree
It’s a shame that she did not have such a good experience, and it’s also sad that people reacted so negatively to her (which the internet magnifies as it can end up being a huge pile on). Of course it would help if she had been able to speak more French, and maybe that was not something she factored in, but she does seem genuinely interested in learning about people and cultures and different places. I hope she does not give up on Lyon and gives it another visit.
I am a Gen X-er who avoids social media. But in this case, the clip about Lyon resonated with me. A few years ago I spent about a week in Lyon and the experience was just as awful as the woman in TikTok described. The city is utterly uninterested in visitors or foreigners of any kind. The taxi driver was jerky, the metro stations have zero staff to help you. Unless you ARE French and speak native French, no one will give you the time of day – not in restaurants, not in cafés, nowhere. The staff at the café I went to told me they did not serve guests at the table (which, based on Google reviews, was a lie). The bouchon restaurants are so overhyped and such a religion, I didn’t dare go near one — no doubt the workers would be horrified to have to deal with someone who doesn’t know the language and the cuisine inside out. (Plus they mostly cater to big groups that are bussed in; and that’s that.) In the end, I spent my time in this “food haven” eating supermarket sandwiches, Chinese takeouts and Starbucks coffee from the train station. Let me say I quite like France, and I found Paris pleasant overall. But as far as Lyon is concerned, if I’m never going back, that’s too soon!
I believe that we will all have our own experiences. There are so many variables. I moved to France 5 1/2 months ago. Alone. I’ve been studying french for years, but it just doesn’t stick. That didn’t deter me though. I have found that being kind and friendly goes a long way when trying to communicate what you are trying to get. Like the time that google maps had me drive past the guard gate at the Marseille port to get to the mall. The guard was cross with me but I found the situation hilarious and started laughing. He told me that I couldn’t get out which I found ridiculously funny. My laughter thawed his crossness and he suggested that I drive over the curb/barrier to exit and called me charming. I have not encountered one rude person in France (Except for the road rage man. He lost his **** because I was driving too slowly in a round-about . I figured that he was hangry and just smiled at him).