Bonjour tout le monde! I was in the U.S. visiting family for Thanksgiving and the longer I live in France, the more I realize that reverse culture shock is truly a thing. I’m originally from NJ, but my family now lives in Florida, and that’s a bit of culture shock in and of itself. The U.S. is huge and there’s so much diversity depending on where you live. But when you add in the fact that I’m used to the French way, reverse culture shock becomes even more obvious. Let’s get into 10 things that throw me for a loop every time I come back to the U.S. to visit after living abroad.
1. Nobody’s puffing smoke everywhere
In France, you’ll notice that a lot of people seem to smoke. You’ll see people smoking on terraces, at bus stops, even while casually strolling down the street. It’s tolerated a lot more in France and kind of seen as normal.
But back in the U..S? It’s like a smoke-free zone. Sure, Americans do smoke and vaping is a thing, but smoking seems way less common stateside and is a bit stigmatized in some social circles. It’s not cool to smoke.
To give you some facts, according to the International Union for the Scientific Study of Population, in France, the smoking epidemic began later than in the United States. The number of cigarettes sold per adult per day peaked in the US in 1961, while it peaked later in France in 1985.
As a result, the prevalence of smoking is higher today in France (31%) than the United States (16%). In any case, being in the U.S. feels like someone swapped my ‘normal life’ with a cleaner, fresher version of reality. As someone who is sensitive to cigarette smoke, this is a major pro of being in the U.S.
2. Small talk is alive and thriving
In France, casual conversations with cashiers or waiters you don’t know are rare. It’s not that they aren’t friendly or don’t care; it’s that they’re respecting their customers’ private lives. If a French cashier you don’t know asks you how your day is going or compliments you, you’re either dreaming or they’ve mistaken you for their best friend.
In the U.S., though, people seem up for a bit of a small talk. “How’s your day going? I love your bag, where did you get it? What are you up to?” etc. I’m happy to chitchat with people, but it catches me off guard because small talk isn’t a thing in France, or at least not to the same extent that it is in the U.S.
It’s not that no one in France will ever chat you up and that everyone in the U.S. is a chatty Kathy. It’s nuanced, so for more details on that, I wrote a post on small talk in France here.
Photo credit: Shutterstock.com/mastermilmar
3. Tipping, tipping, tipping
As someone who spent the first 25 or so years of her life in the U.S., I know all about the ins and outs of tipping, but it seems to have ramped up a LOT in the past decade. Tipping stateside is everywhere and it’s getting out of control.
In France, tipping is optional—it’s a little merci if you had great service. Leaving 20% tips at restaurants or tipping at a hair or nail salon are NOT obligatory in France. In the U.S., tipping is mandatory and not just for restaurants—coffee shops, massages, rideshare drivers, haircuts… the list never ends.
It’s time for employers to start paying employees a liveable wage and stop putting the onus on customers to make up the difference.
4. Sunday productivity is a thing
In the U.S., Sundays are just another day where you can be as productive as you want to be, but in France, Sundays are sacred. OK, maybe not sacred but many stores and businesses are closed.
Some of my local supermarkets are closed on Sundays and the two that are open close at noon. Salons are closed and my gym closes at noon too. In France, people spend time relaxing. They chill out at home, go on walks to the park with family… it’s not a day to be productive and that’s built into the culture.
But in the U.S., while you can relax and take it easy on Sundays, you have the option to run errands, hit the gym, go shopping, and even grab dinner. Last Sunday, I got my nails done, went grocery shopping at 4pm and it felt weirdly rebellious, like I was breaking some unspoken rule.
5. Pharmaceutical commercials are everywhere
“Side effects may include diarrhea, stomach pain, headaches, dizziness, confusion, losing your left arm, your eyeball falling out, uncontrollable laughter and the urge to move to France.” Alight, I’m exaggerating a little but I know you know all about the prescription drug ads we’re bombarded with on American TV. They’re out of control!
You can’t even get through one commercial break without watching some dramatic commercial for the latest eczema or psoriasis drug. And the worst part is the jingles are catchy!!!!
Only the U.S. and New Zealand allow direct to consumer TV pharmaceutical advertising, so that means in France, you won’t see pharmaceutical commercials on TV or in magazines.
Coming back to the U.S. and watching ads for medications with 10 seconds of benefits and two minutes of side effect disclaimers is wild. “Ask your doctor if you’re healthy enough to take this pill that may cause dizziness, nausea, or sudden existential dread.”
The French would lose their minds. It would be funny if it wasn’t so scary. I can’t imagine what foreigners must think when they see all the pharma commercials.
6. Gun and ammo stores are… normal?
I grew up in the U.S., so the idea of people having guns wasn’t exactly new to me, although my home state of NJ required a permit to own a firearm and there was no open carry.
But Florida, well it’s a different story. Even before moving to France, seeing stores with signs like this out front in Florida were shocking to me every time I’d go visit my brother at college. But after years in France, where the sight of a gun is rare unless you’re at a museum or going hunting, seeing stores casually selling firearms and ammunition? It feels deeply unsettling. The U.S.’s attitude towards firearms is a whole different vibe and it’s not a good one.
7. Billboards for everything
The main drag where I visit is Interstate 95 and driving down the highway feels like an infomercial. “Call this number for your salvation, legal advice, a strip club, or relief from back pain!” In France, billboards are less common, and you won’t find religious advertising. There’s also no huge industry around pain clinics or personal injury law.
But in Florida, well it’s a bit special. You’ve got larger-than-life Jesus sharing a board with a personal injury lawyer all popping oxys. OK, I’m half joking, but it’s next-level advertising. And distracting while you’re driving!
8. Sales tax is a surprise every time
Shopping in the U.S. after France is a bit of a guessing game. You never know what the final price will be. Well, unless you have a calculator and know each particular state’s sales tax rates.
In France, taxes are included in the price, so what you see is what you pay. In the U.S., you’re doing math at the checkout. It’s like, “Wait, $19.99 + tax… Do I need a calculator?”
Tom was caught a few cents short when he ran into Dunkin’ Donuts (which is now just Dunkin’ I think) on his first trip to NYC with just a 5-dollar bill and bought something that he thought would total just under that. He didn’t realize there would be sales tax and was embarrassed when he didn’t have enough cash for his coffee.
For the non-U.S. folks reading, I’m sure his story is familiar. Even as an American used to sales tax, it’s annoying to keep track. There’s tax on clothes in NYC but not in NJ. We all pay by card these days but still, it’s nice to know what the tax will come out to be ahead of time. Anyway, tell me about your sales tax missteps below in the comments.
9. Flags, flags, everywhere
In France, you mostly see the national flag during official events like a presidential speech, a sporting event, or outside city hall. The French flag is not something people display on a flag pole in their front yard.
In the U.S. though, flags are everywhere and serve as decor, fashion, and a lot more. You’ll see them in front yards, on T-shirts, coffee mugs, you name it. Americans love their stars and stripes, and honestly, it’s a little overwhelming when you’ve been away for a while. Flags have become a statement.
Do kids still say the pledge of allegiance in schools? I have no idea if it’s still a thing but as a kid, every morning right after the bell, we’d all stand, face the flag, put our hand over our heart and recite the pledge. At the time, it seemed normal and I didn’t think much of it, but looking back, it’s a bit over the top.
10. Obesity is hard to ignore
Coming back to the U.S. after living in France really opened my eyes to the obesity epidemic. Weight loss drugs are pretty commonplace and no one can deny that the U.S. has a problem with obesity.
The CDC’s population data from 2023 shows that in 23 states more than one in three adults (35%) has obesity. Before 2013, no state had an adult obesity prevalence at or above 35%. Currently, at least one in five adults (20%) in each U.S. state is living with obesity.
In France, people are not all slim and healthy by any means and you’ll absolutely see overweight people, but obesity is much less prevalent.
Over the last 25 years, obesity has grown in France, especially among young people. According to Ameli, 17% of adults are obese.
Why is this the case? Habits in France are different. Food quality is higher overall. Meals are smaller, people walk more, they take time to cook and eat, and the list goes on. In the time I’ve lived in France, though, fast food and processed foods are becoming more and more common. I have KFC, Burger King, McDonald’s, Domino’s, and some local fast food places all within a 5-min drive of my house.
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Visiting the U.S. is always eye-opening and overwhelming, to say the least, but it’s also wonderful. I’ll always have a soft spot for my home country. I’ve written about things the U.S. does better than France and also on things I miss from the U.S. after living abroad for a decade, in the name of balance and all.
There’s so much I love about both countries, but these reverse culture shocks definitely remind me how different our worlds can be.
Let me know in the comments: Have you ever had a reverse culture shock experience? I’d love to hear about it. Thanks for reading!
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After I had lived in France for two years I visited the US and two stories stood out to me. First, at the airport when we landed in the US, someone bumped into me and immediately apologized. I was so surprised to have someone say sorry! People often don’t, in my experience in France. Secondly, we had to visit the DMV in the US and we walked away feeling like they were the kindest, most thoughtful and organized people ever. “Wow, such customer service!”
Hi Emily! I haven’t been in a US DMV in a while (just did my license renewal by mail actually over Thanksgiving) and it was seamless, phew. The French bureaucracy can really test one’s patience. I can’t wait to hear back about what documents I’m missing this time on my delayed residency card renewal. I’m sure it’ll be something. Oh well, gotta just roll with it. I’m going to make a point to see if people apologize when they bump into me. I can’t say it happens a lot but that’s something I’ve never noticed. Thx for reading and happy holidays!
Not all states charge sales tax. Once on vacation I bought something from a hardware store in Montana. The shelf said $5.95 and they charged me $5.95!
Exactly why it’s so confusing! Some states do, some states don’t, or only on certain items.
I have lived in France for over two years, and, at the moment, I have no desire to return to the United States. With that said, I am sure I would find reverse culture shock with the amount of people that will drive one or two blocks to the grocery store instead of walking: the lack of bike lanes, and the amount of people bitching about adding bike lanes to existing roads: teachers carrying a gun in the classroom ( I am a teacher, and I just can’t fathom this): the isolation in a town just because you weren’t born there! There is probably a lot more, but, having experienced the above, I find the French lifestyle much more suited to my needs!
Very interesting indeed Diane and I agree with all the points you made. Similar in Canada but to a lesser extent ( not so much Jesus and guns).
My partner is from France and I’m from the uk so though we live in Quebec, we visit Europe fairly regularly. I find your comments are always on the nail!
I am an American who has lived in both the US and France. I must say that it is “easier” to navigate life in the US with services being so much more available on a number of levels.
On the other hand, living in a small town in La Dordogne, I was surprised at how friendly the neighbors were, as well as the tradesmen in the village. We also spent six months in a working class (at the time) neighborhood in Paris (11th), and were pretty much isolated from the community except for the small shopkeepers who got to know us. Granted, we were in a 12-story apartment building, but the only people who truly engaged with us were English speaking French.
The open markets in France are one aspect that I came to dislike. While the offerings were fantastic, nobody formed a line, and they were very crowded. The stalls with the best goods also had the longest and most impatient lines. Consequently I tend to only shop the perimeters and only at a certain time of day (very early or very late) and eventually find myself skipping them and settling for sub-par grocery store offerings of fruit and vegetables. Except for tomato season! Then I’m all in. But otherwise, thank goodness for Grand Frais.
Ah yes, those pharmaceutical commercials! Although I live in Canada so we obviously get TV from the US. I hate them! Also the ones from lawyers who want you to sue everyone! We tend not to watch the TV unless we record things or it’s Netflix or Britbox. Many things are similar here in Canada with the exception of the guns thank goodness! Tipping as you say is out of control. A lot start at 18% now.
I wish shops did close on Sundays. It would give people a chance for some down time. I never go to fast food restaurants and shop as much as I can at local stores and farm markets. I love the French markets. I have many items of clothing from them. They may be crowded but I think that’s just a way of life. You often see people meeting there I think. Even coming to Canada from the UK (Jersey) was a culture shock. I still miss many things from back there!
I found these differences when I moved from the UK to the USA, and I fully expect a bot of reverse culture shock when I finally return home (it’s been quite along time). I am sure that the UK has changed a lot in some ways since I left, and so it will be interesting to experience getting used to things. One thing that really stood out when I first arrived in the US was the small talk with cashiers, it really threw me as that was not what I was used to!
Even I was surprised by the small talk with cashiers visiting Florida. I feel like in New Jersey where I grew up, I t’s a little less common. But in Florida it’s like a whole conversation!