***Hello there, I’m on vacation in Corsica and have set up a few guest posts from readers who have kindly offered to fill in for me in my absence. Show them some love, will you please? I’m sending everyone who submitted a post a HUGE thank you!***
Coming at you today is a post from Shelby who blogs over at The Wander Prone. She lives in Paris and blogs about all sorts of things including books and her cat Lucy Belle.
GO!
Paris isn’t perfect
When someone mentions Paris, what’s the first thing you think of?
If you’re from Texas you probably said “Paris Texas?” and are proudly thinking of this:
In which case, thanks for being obnoxious, but you did partially answer my question. What likely comes to mind when thinking about Paris is the Eiffel Tower, that and other famous monuments. Paris is famous for being a city of unmitigated beauty, history, elegance, and a stream of other words that really mean special. Paris is special and magical and it seems like everyone dreams of their very own romantic version.
The first time I ever went to Paris I was sixteen years old. I don’t think I could have been more excited, and I listened to an insane amount of Edith Piaf before I went just to ensure I was as prepared as I could be (and because that was all sixteen-year-old me knew of French music). Even though it was just a three day stop-over with my dad before we headed to Verdun to spend the rest of the summer with my cousins, I was going to Paris.
And I hated it. I mean absolutely hated it. The city was filthy, people were everywhere, my French wasn’t as good as I had thought, and horror of horrors there was a traffic cone on a statue’s head.
I was appalled. What sort of place showed so little regard for its history? Why was there trash everywhere? Not only that, but the proliferation of homeless people and the numerous times we were approached for money or to try to get us with some scheme had me swearing never again to go to Paris. I saw no point, after those three days I had seen most of the major monuments and it wasn’t like I wasn’t going to be spending the rest of the summer (and many other trips, as it would come) in France, so I left Paris happily shaking the dust off my shoes.
Fast forward seven years. Guess where I live?
I’ve been wanting to write on this particular subject in some way or another pretty much since I moved to Paris in December. It was the fact that all of the sudden my Instagram pictures were racking up the likes and comments or people talked about how lucky I was (like I hadn’t worked and struggled and thought long and hard about moving here). What finally clinched it was when some members of my family went on a cruise a few months ago, and I told them I was jealous.
“But you live in Paris!” my aunt replied. That’s right, I do live in Paris. It’s a city where people come for vacation, to go see Versailles and walk through the Louvre and probably step in doggie doo because they were too busy looking at some marvel or another.
Paris is marvelous, that’s very true. It’s also crammed with people, and let me tell you that the personal bubble does not exist here. People will stand right up next to you, and not just on the public transportation. You could be doing something as innocuous as waiting in line at the post office and some old lady is so far up your butt you have distinct fear she might get stuck there.
Americans, it seems, are veritably obsessed with personal hygiene. We bathe daily, if not multiple times a day. Our deodorant is fierce and mighty and probably gives us health problems, but by God we lather it on our armpits and pop an extra stick in our purse or gym bag. It is a bit of a hard learning experience to realize that some places are not as worried about it as we are. In fact, in some places they seem to embrace the armpit stank. They let it flow free as they hold the handle above your head in the metro or reach over you in the grocery store or stand uncomfortably close in the post office. “Embrace it” the stank whispers as it coils lovingly under your nose. “You’ll never truly be free from it as long as you live here”.
After my first trip to France, I came home (erroneously) thinking that the French were impolite. Perhaps the first thing to know about me is that I spent all my formative years raised in Texas by a Southern mother – I have very specific ideas of politeness. The French are very polite, but it’s a different sort than I’m used to. I say this because I don’t believe the idea that Parisians are rude is true – on the whole they’re not. But they do not have the same societal understanding of ‘nice-ness’, especially in customer service arenas, that Americans (like me) are used to. As someone with over five years of experience in the service industry (working completely for tips), I know that this nice-ness is often fake, but I have to admit it’s a lot more pleasant than the near surliness that can be the norm when dealing with the day to day in Paris.
There are other things to complain about, of course. There’s no AC and I am absolutely not okay with it. It’s often gray and dreary, and when it rains it spits and spurts and you just sort of resign yourself to it. My hair is always frizzy (although that’s more of a life complaint than a living in Paris one). But then there are days like today when I got up early to get to the Notre Dame before the tourists and it was the first time I’d been in that historic church when it was actually quiet. And it was something else. Something special.
Mostly I want to remind people that expectations can set you up for disappointment. Paris is a big city, smaller than some and bigger than others, with a very large amount of people who are eating breakfast and working and meeting up with friends and taking naps and just living. It is a special place, but many places are special. It does have the Eiffel Tower, but in my opinion that’s one of the most depressing moments in a Parisian visit — you see the big metal antenna and you think, “what now?” Or maybe you’re less cynical than I am and you grab an overpriced crêpe and you push past the women thrusting clipboards at you and you stand in line for hours with your family or friends or all by yourself because you’re in Paris and you’re going to climb the Eiffel Tower and what is life if not a collection of moments in special places?
One of the best pieces of advice I got about living in Paris I think would also apply to those visiting. If you ever reach the point where being in Paris feels like just a little bit much, look up. Look up, and take in what it really means to be there, the beauty of the city itself.
And then look down again really quick lest you step in dog poo.
Do you love Paris? Hate it? Is it somewhere in the middle? Don’t forget to check out Shelby’s blog, The Wander Prone!
I usually never leave any comment here, although I come to this website almost every day.
But this time, I had to.
This article is not about “Paris is not perfect”. This is literally a “Paris bashing”. It is not objective. Not even a little.
I was born in the Parisian area and I have always lived here. I have been in Paris often. Very often.I went to school here. I worked here. And yes, I have always complained about the same things.
But let’s be honest: no, Paris is not perfect. But Paris is not so bad.
Firstly, I can’t agree about what is said about hygiene. Most of people take at least one shower everyday. Or two. More for some people.
Yes, french people and Parisians are clean.
Of course, some people do stink. It’s true. But seriously, it’s not even 3% of the people you will meet in France. I’m in the US for one month now, and yes, I’ve seen some stinky people her as well.
Also, of course there are a lot of people! It’s Paris. The capital of France. More than 2 million people live here, and it’s where there are the most tourists in the world! A lot of people that you see in Paris aren’t even French, by the way. Of course, it’s easy to complain about it, but if you don’t like crowded places, then don’t go to any big city. It’s as simple as that.
At least, I’m glad you finally realized that French people are polite. Because yes, we are.
Once again, about the nice-ness, it can be something appreciable, that people aren’t “too’ nice. I mean, I gladly go to some stores in the US, and I appreciate nice employees. But sometimes it’s way too much. When you’re in a store for 3 minutes and during this short period of time 12 people ask you if you need some help, it’s annoying. Even my american girlfriend was a little bit annoyed.
But it happened only once and I usually like how people are nice.
I just wanted to talk about it to say that it’s useless to make a generality.
Of course, when it comes to complain about rude or stinky people, I am not the last one to do it. But I always try to be as objective as I can.
I just came back from New Orleans, and when i was there, I complained a little about the stinky streets in the French Quarter or about the homeless people asking for money (which was actually worse than it is in Paris) but at the same time, I appreciated every minute here.The city, the architecture, the mood in the streets… Focus on the good things and all the bad things won’t seem so bad.
Yes, in Paris the sidewalks might be dirty (although it depends on the districts), yes there are some hemeless people and people asking for money. And yes, it can be annoying.
But Paris can be great if you know what to do and where to go and those problems ( as well as the very disturbing pigeons) suddenly become little details.
Have you been drinking a hot chocolate on a “terrasse” during Fall or winter? Have you been sitting under a tree in the Jardin du Luxembourg? have you been to the Buttes-Chaumont? Have you experienced Paris during Christmas? Have you ever visited the Louvre during the night?
Have you spent an afternoon in the district of Notre-Dame, eating an amazing ice cream from Berthillon while you walk along the Seine?
Have you been to the Montparnasse tower? You can go there with a ticket that you ordered online to avoid the lines and see Paris from a beautiful point of view.
It’s only a small list of some great things you can experience in Paris. Paris can be amazing. Learn how to appreciate it, instead of focusing on the bad things, and everything will seem much better. And you’ll be happier, too.
I will finish this comment with something positive though. I enjoy reading this blog and I will gladly keep doing that on a regular basis!
Hey bud!
Dang, thank you so much for writing such a great comment. So much better than just being upset by something and never responding.
Also I’m so glad you’re going to keep coming back to Diane’s blog, as she didn’t write this and I would never want something she didn’t do to reflect back on her in a negative manner.
First thing I want to say is that this was not at all intended to be a Paris-bashing piece, but intentions don’t mean much when people don’t receive them so it’s not great that’s how it came across!
Moreso, I was writing out frustrations of being an expat in Paris – a place where the majority of the world thinks that your life is something totally special. Something perfect.
I also wrote this in the middle of the summer, when it was super hot and people were smelling real bad. I make no apologies for that one! 🙂
Before living in Paris I lived in Los Angeles (a way bigger city), and I have lived in other places in France too. I was not born in Paris nor am I a French native (although my family is French and they are not big fans of the city either, I come by it honestly!), so my perspective is certainly different than yours.
This was really just supposed to be a light-hearted examination of everyone’s favorite city, and I included positives and ended on what I thought was a positive note – while still intending to make people smile.
I am sorry that it upset you. Thanks again for your thoughts!
Waw, boy I didn’t like this post. I’m from Paris and I live now in Texas, a couple of hours drive from Paris, Texas in fact.
I can agree with some of your descriptions but I think it was too much focused on the bad sides, not balanced enough.
Maybe also when this kind of criticism comes from French people it sounds more ok to me, for some reason. Like sometimes I criticize my mother and sometimes my sister does the same but I would not let others criticize her. See what I mean?
I’ll come back to this blog though.
I get where you’re coming from, thanks for responding!
I’m getting my citizenship through the droit du sang, I speak the language, I live in the country, I didn’t know snails weren’t Thanksgiving food until I was at least 10 – but I still don’t count. Not in the way you want me to, and that’s totally fine!
The way people react to me when finding out I’m from Texas here is generally to talk about three things – guns, the death penalty, and George Bush. My state is bigger than this country and that’s what I’m reduced to. I could be upset about it, but instead I laugh. Outsiders always have a slightly skewed view of what they’re looking at, it’s the nature of being outside.
What people generally view Paris as is almost untouchable. And I get irritated by that. I do like Paris, but the prevailing notion that it is some perfect place simply isn’t true. No place is! There are so many pieces that talk about the good side of this city, so I wanted to mix it up a bit.
I’m sorry you didn’t like it, but I’m glad you’ll come back to this blog! It’s a great one and Diane is a sweetie for letting me write something on it while she’s away, and for letting me write ridiculously long comments.
I didn’t mean to say that “you don’t count”. I’m a 2nd generation French citizen and I’m not white so I understand what it feels so my apologies.
I know what French people think of Texas and I know that they don’t know. One thing I’m not comfortable with in Texas is guns. There are other thing I prefer in France but I stay open minded and try to remain respectful to this country which welcomes me and my family.
Now, your post was very long on listing bad things about Paris and ended with a very distasteful picture which made me think that you associate Paris to that picture. That’s why I didn’t like it.
Gotcha! Thanks for giving me some food for thought.
Of course I have never been to Paris but I have always thought of it as a pretty place with rude people in it I do not know why I have always thought that the French are rude but for some reason I do and it is a bit of a shock to realise that the town isn’t pretty and that the French can be rude and polite at the same time as you said they are polite just not in the way some of us might be used to
Hi Jo-Anne!
First off – this is just my opinion of course – but I think Paris is a beautiful city. I love the architecture, the history, the surprises that are always waiting around the corner; it all adds up to one really pretty place. With a lot of dog poop on the sidewalks. 🙂
And yeah, the idea that the French are “rude” just comes from a total place of misunderstanding. Their culture is different than ours, so we behave differently. At first it might be a shock if you’re not used to it, but it’s just as valid a system of politeness as any other.
Thanks for your thoughts!
Hey Shelby, I love it that you pop the bubble and made it real. Lol I totally understand the 150% romantic notions people always give to Paris when they realise you are living in it. Their envy is un-explainable. Parisians are very lucky to come from a city so loved. I have been to Paris and I love the metro because it is so ancient and such an icon but I can’t stand the smell either. 😉 As with every city there are the quirks, the beautiful and the ugly. I love public toilets and I have learnt to get around the absence of it by popping into restaurants for a release and a drink. Thanks for sharing. I hope you are having a very good day.