Indecisiveness can be crippling, and right now, we’re feeling pretty crippled. If you’ve been reading my blog the past couple of weeks, you know we’re house hunting here in France, and while we want to take our time and make sure we find the right property, we’re not going to pass up a great house either just for the sake of looking further. Well, we found that dream house, but there’s a problem…
Read on!
Anyone who knows me knows I’m rational and tend to think things through, but I need reassurance. I can be a tad indecisive — especially over big decisions — and REALLY hate feeling anxious and unsure. And even more so when there’s a time crunch.
To make a long story short, we found a house in France that we really, really like. It’s a completely renovated 1920s home that has enough space, a nice little yard, an open kitchen that is functional , BIG bedrooms, is in the center of our town and a beautifully done upper level. Trust me – it’s nice. It’s perfect for us. We want it.
The only downside? It’s at the top of our budget AND the garage, as it stands now, is not functional as a garage (narrow passage to get to it, being used as a shed, so some masonry work would have to be done to make it into a garage). The house is on a narrow street as well although the owner says he’s never had trouble parking on the street in 12 years. We did the calculations and we can afford it, so what’s the problem you say?
So here’s where it gets tricky. We saw it Saturday morning. There is another couple who saw the house last weekend and the owner told us they would most likely make an offer. They had a whole week to think about it. Sure enough, they did make an offer directly to the owner (no agency involved), 500 over asking price because they were scared we’d make an offer first at asking price. The owner said he’d consider our offer of 500 more than that (so 1000 euros above asking price that was NOT negotiable) and there would be no back and forth. If we top that, we win. The owner is moving to Bordeaux for work and wants to get a sales agreement signed ASAP (this week) and it’s a lot of pressure on us.
But here are the issues about our possible new house in France that are giving us pause:
1) The speed at which this is happening. We saw the house two days ago and while it’s probably a great house and we love it, we just want to be absolutely sure. The owner wanted our offer last night but we convinced him to hold off ‘til Tuesday when Tom can verify the specifics with our bank. He reluctantly agreed.
2) Karma. I care about other people and often put myself in their shoes. The other couple saw it first, made an offer first and for them to lose the house over 500 euros is almost insulting. If I were the other couple and lost my dream house over 500 euros, I’d feel horrible. Although it’s the owner screwing them over and not our problem per se, I’d feel really bad about doing that on ethical principles alone. The owner would wait on our offer for only 500 euros more? Seems too “nickel and dimey” for me.
Will there be other houses in France? Of course. But ones we’ll like as much as this one? I’m not sure.
Rushing doesn’t often produce good results, in my opinion. But at the same time, in France, especially at the low end of our budget, houses aren’t exactly move-in ready. To be blunt, they’re dumps that require 30-60k+ euros of renovations to make them livable and modern. They don’t always have new windows, kitchens, new insulation or redone electricity and plumbing. These are all considerable expenses and things that need to be looked at and changed if you don’t want to throw money out the window. This house we love is move-in ready and aside from a few cosmetic touches, it’s 100% livable from the day we move in. I’d be proud to open my door for the mailman. Really proud.
Maybe the fact that I’m even putting this out there and asking the question is a good indicator that we should pass on this. Or maybe this reflection is just me wanting to be sure and is a part of thinking this through. It’s a big decision and will unfortunately have to be a fast one. The risk of passing is that we’ll compare this “dream” house to every other house we look at and I’m not sure anything else will measure up. Or – who knows – maybe we’ll get over it and find something better. Or maybe we won’t.
What would you do? Have you bought a house in France?
Photo credit: elycefeliz / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
Photo credit: GG aka nessuno di no-luogo.it / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-SA
You definitely have a tough situation on your hands.
I’m usually the nice person – the one that would worry about swiping a house from under someone else – but in recent years, I’ve realised that sometimes, I need to do what’s best for us and put emotions aside. I don’t envy the decision you have to make but trust your instincts & in the end, be at peace with whatever decision you come to. You won’t be able to dwell on the past and you’ll have to be ok with that! Good luck 🙂
Totally right, Jay. Whatever we do, we have to be at peace with it and not focus on the what-ifs or what-could-have-beens of the other outcome. The only other complicating factor I didn’t mention in the post is that for the sales contract that this guy wants THIS WEEK (normally you’d have a week window or more), it requires a deposit, which is in the US right now and won’t necessarily arrive via wire on Wednesday to meet his demands. It’s moving very fast. But we really do love the house. Just don’t love being rushed. AHHHH thank you
I am not sure I believe the owner’s statement about the other people offering 500 more initially. How did they know you would like the place and even make an offer. Think he is just trying to get a bit more from you. If you like it enough to pay the extra then I would not worry about the other people (if it is true), all is fair when buying a property. They might up their offer when he tells them you are prepared to pay more. I would advise using a solicitor or other legal rep. to make sure everything is above board before handing over deposit.
The skeptic in me too has wrestled w/the same points you bring up, Judy. We absolutely won’t take this guy’s word for anything and to do our due diligence takes time, which he’s not really allowing for…
Rushing to purchase a house is not a good thing, IMHO. Do they do house inspections in France as in the USA ? Are you sure there is not some underlying problem in the sale ? Are you sure the owner actually owns the property ? If everything is on the up and up then, just go with your gut. Be kind to yourself and get the house you love.
Yes, I don’t like rushing either. The thing is, usually there’s more time after making an offer and signing a sales contract, but this guy wants it fast because he has to buy a house elsewhere. It’s too fast for comfort and is not leaving much time for us to go through the necessary steps. My guard is way up. May let this one pass. I could be happy anywhere with a kitchen!! 😉
hey diane. as a recent home purchaser, if in your gut feeling, you’re not comfortable. pass. usually your instincts are correct. besides, as you are taking the risk, you should be allowed to check out all the specs on the house. yes, there is more paperwork involved afterwards and at which time you could rescind your offer (i don’t know how it works over there), but if you’re not confident about it….keep looking…=)
If you’re in love with it, buy the house! We house-hunted for a few months, and came across our current home and fell in love. It was at the top end of our budget, and we ended up paying 10k over asking for ours, after a bidding war with another couple, but it really is our house. And we adore it!
Compared to all the other houses we saw this was was fully renovated and we love the yard.
I’m an indecisive person too, and kept wondering if we would find an equally good house for less money or in an even better area, but in the end I’m convinced we made the right decision. And with a few improvements – fireplace, deck, etc. – resale value will def go up.
Good luck!
Thanks Nicole, I appreciate your insight. There are a few “issues” with this house and the fact that the owner seems to be rushing us along and isn’t being 100% honest. A few things have happened in the past couple of hours that have made us take a step back. Might be passing this one by. I think we’ll know 100% when we find the right opportunity and the jitters will be out of excitement and not hesitation. Thx again! Congrats on your wedding!
I’d be wary if someone wanted to rush me in a decision that important,and usually I’d want to see all of the house again, and make notes on the problems I see, get a second opinion, and maybe ask for a rebate 🙂
if it is truly your dream house, go for it but don’t rush it, check and double check, all the paperwork, and probable weak spots of the property and house and installations.
Good, solid advice. Thank you! I totally agree and if this other couple gets the house, so be it. If they don’t, we’ll be sure to go through all the steps to make sure we’re 100% OK with it before making an offer… thx again
Bonjour Diane. I had a similar issue here in Oz.We were just on a weekend away in our favourite beach paradise,when we went for a walk and just happened to look in a real estate window,when there she was…..NIRVANA in brick.Only thing was,it was not just a few hundred over a budget….it was $40,000 more than i wanted to pay.Long story short,it was now reduced a little as the home was sold…..but the couple who bought it had financial issues and the sale fell through (plus it was a deceased estate,and the sellers wanted their money NOW) i put an offer forward,2 days of “no” and then ,finally ….a “OUI”.NOW ,IT WAS BITTERSWEET,BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE BEEN SHATTERED HAD IT BEEN US WHO LOST THE HOME,ESP.AT A REDUCED PRICE,but this was,as i believe,MEANT TO BE.IT WAS DESTINED.So i say to you….don’t rush the biggest purchase you will ever make ( or you will,as the saying goes,repent at leisure.)I have a feeling the sale is being rushed for other reasons,and may cost you dearly later,and besides,is all this rushing even legal in France ? (surely inspections,”cooling off” periods and legal issues regarding signing papers quickly are amongst all France’s red tape somewhere?).If you are unsure….step back,talk to someone older and more experienced and if they think it is all moving too fast,breathe deeply and say “NON”.Other dreams are waiting in the wings.GOOD LUCK.
It took us three years to find a home; it was fun at times and frustrating at times. We lost several houses due to better offers and unreasonable (in our opinion) sellers – we were shopping during the decline, so many sellers weren’t willing to sell their home for less than yesteryear’s prices. Can’t say that I blame them now that we have our dream home.
When we found our home, we scheduled a walk through 15 minutes after it went on the market and had an offer in an hour after that, because we knew we had hit gold.
The purchase was a nightmare, at the same time we adopted two puppies, and we canceled the movers to save money can caught a cold moving weekend. It was a nightmare, but we love the memories and laugh all the time about them.
Best of luck! You’ll get there!
I’ve been reading your blog for about a year now. I can really relate to some of your posts, especially this one, as my husband and I were in almost the same situation a few years ago. I am an immigrant in France too, normally living in Bordeaux with my French husband.
The other couple had seen the appartment about a week before us and was ready to make an offer when we viewed the appartment. It was a great deal, and we agonized what to do about it the evening after we saw the appartment. We were weary of the agency that was telling us that the other couple knew about us and that they would most certainly offer the asking price because they knew we were serious. We didn’t know who or what to believe with only a night to make our decision.
In the end we decided to let it go. The other couple’s full asking price offer was accepted and we kept looking. A few weeks later we found another appartment in the same residence that was more expensive but had a great view over the city. We are now very happy and don’t regret anything.
Trust your gut instinct.
Hi there, thanks so much for your comment — and for being a loyal reader! My one-year anniversary is coming up June 1!! I am absolutely going to trust my gut. The seller has a verbal offer and nothing on paper from this other couple, so we’re going to see it again and if we like it, well great. If the make an offer and he accepts it before us, great. We’re not the ones who are in a rush, we’re not in danger of being evicted or anything like that — perfectly fine to wait a few weeks or months. So he can hold his horses! I believe it’ll work out the way it should. I’ll update the blog once things are more clear. Thx again!!
I’m just now finding your site and I know this is a real old article by now. But although I have high integrity, this is business. I feel it’s whoever wants the home the most and can afford it most. It’s not about hurting people’s feelings. It’s about doing what you feel is right for you. I do agree with another poster that it’s important to fall in love with a place. I believe we absolutely can know in our gut what is right for us and we need to follow that. When we find the right place, we know it. I do hope you made the right decision and are in a joyful place now. I look forward to reading your site. Best wishes to all. Alena/USA.
Thank you! We found a house in our town center that we really like and have been here almost 2 years now. 😉 Has a garage (unlike the one I wrote about in this post) and a little yard for the dog, so things worked out. 😉 Thanks again